


Operator, Could You Help Me Place This Call?

by Ellie603



Series: Operator [1]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Business Executive Coulson, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Phone Call Flirting, Security Technician May, Slow Burn, cyber security au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-03-10 08:27:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 25,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13498296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellie603/pseuds/Ellie603
Summary: Melinda May is only a few weeks into her new position in the communications department at the Shield Corporation, a job which pays well but doesn’t allow for a lot of human interaction… that is until an upper level executive’s repeatedly misdialing of a phone number triggers a security alert. A would-be-routine response phone call to Phil Coulson, Director of Research and Development, finds Melinda playing relationship counselor for the exec, who might just be the best thing that’s happened to her in a long time.





	1. Isn't that the way they say it goes?

**Author's Note:**

> So the wonderful 1972 hit song "Operator (That's Not the Way it Feels)" by Jim Croce came on my Spotify the other day, and almost immediately I had this idea for an AU and knew that it needed to be Philinda even though I've only written AoS fic for Fitzsimmons before (and I also haven't really written anything substantial fic-wise in like a year and a half). 
> 
> But even though I do have grad school applications to work on, this fic demanded to be written, so here we are, and it's been so much fun to work on.
> 
> Enjoy!

Melinda May sighed in her cubicle as she finished inputting security clearances for an executive in China that was due to phone conference with the company’s CFO in a matter of minutes. Melinda didn’t mind her job – at the very least she didn’t have to deal with chatty coworkers since everyone in the Shield Corporation’s Communications Department worked independently and a computer system was responsible for any additional delegation of tasks – but it had only been a few weeks and checking security clearances and updating operating systems had already gotten old. Still, the pay was better here than her last position, and it’s not like she could have stayed at her last job anyway. Melinda and Andrew had built their cyber security firm together, but it was Andrew’s company more than hers, so when their divorce was finalized, Melinda knew she had to be the one to leave. Andrew claimed that he didn’t mind if she wanted to keep working there, but Melinda knew this was better for both of them.

Which left her working a late shift in her cubicle talking to no one and seeing no one – just the way she told herself she liked things.

An alert flashed up on her computer. One of the departmental directors was repeatedly dialing a phone number without any security clearances… for a Chinese restaurant in Portland.

“What…” Melinda said under her breath as she stared at her screen in confusion, unsure why an exec in their DC office was so insistent on ordering Chinese food from Oregon. “Gotta be a wrong number…”

Whether it was or not, Melinda was responsible for following up on this alert, so she clicked his contact to call him back.

“Phil Coulson,” said the voice on the other end of the line.

“Hi Mr. Coulson,” Melinda said in her best customer service voice. The puzzle solving and ability to create and work within organizational systems had drawn her to this type of cyber security work, but having to deal with employees who didn’t know what they were doing had always been her least favorite part of the job.

“I’m Melinda May from the Comms Department,” she continued. “I have an alert that you repeatedly attempted to call a number without security clearances.” Shield was notoriously strict with clearances. Any outside individuals – family, friends, even local food vendors used by the employees– had to have some sort of clearance or record with the company if company employees wanted to reach them while in the offices.

“What?” Mr. Coulson replied, confusion plain in his voice. “Audrey has clearances. I’ve called her-” Coulson’s voice broke, “I’ve called her plenty of times.”

Melinda heard a sniffle on the other end of the line.

“Sir, are you okay?” Melinda asked reflexively.

There was rustling in the background and more sniffling. “Yeah, I’m… I’m fine,” Coulson finally answered, sounding anything but fine.

Melinda frowned. This wasn’t in her job description, but the man sounded so sad. “You don’t really sound fine to me, Mr. Coulson,” May replied after a moment.

Coulson laughed, accompanied by another sniffle. “Yeah, yeah, you’re right. Today’s just been a… it’s been a pretty crappy day.”

Melinda smiled slightly in spite of herself. “I know a thing or two about crappy days. I’m sorry.”

Coulson sighed on the other end of the line. “It’s fine. It’s… fine. It’ll be fine…Fine…” He stopped and laughed humorlessly. “You know how if you say something to yourself over and over you can almost believe it? That’s not working so well now. Ughh.” More rustling. “Wow, low point for me right here,” he said after a moment. “My girlfriend decided we need a ‘break’ and now I’m falling apart to a Comms security officer.” He paused. “What was your name again? I’m sorry, it’s been a rough day.”

Melinda’s smile grew marginally wider. “Melinda May. And, again, I’m really sorry, Mr. Coulson.”

“Phil,” Coulson insisted. “Just Phil. You already know my girlfriend dumped me, so I guess we should be on first name terms.”

Melinda laughed at that. “It’s Melinda, then. So did this all happen today?” she asked hesitantly, not quite sure why she was so interested in the affairs of this sad-sounding executive.

“Yesterday,” Phil corrected. “Last night actually. We’ve been together for over a year, but she got a job on the West Coast a few months ago so we’d been doing long distance. But last night she said it wasn’t working and things didn’t feel right, and I told her to sleep on it and we could talk it over in the morning, but she was gone by the time I woke up. I was supposed to go see her perform in a couple weeks, but now I’m sure she never wants to see me again.”

“See her perform?” Melinda asked curiously.

“She’s a cellist,” Phil clarified. “With the Portland Philharmonic.”

Portland! Melinda suddenly remembered why she had called Phil in the first place. “Oh, you were trying to reach her, right?”

“Yeah,” Phil replied, clearly remembering himself that he was talking to Melinda for a reason. “I’ve called her from here before.”

“The number you dialed was for a Portland Chinese restaurant.”

Phil said nothing.

“Phil?”

Genuine laughter rang out from the other side of the line, a sound that Melinda instantly liked, though she didn’t quite know why. “Wow, I am sorry about that,” Phil said finally, sounding at least a little cheered up.

“Do you know what happened?” Melinda asked.

“I was so worked up that I forgot Audrey’s number,” Phil explained, amusement plain in his voice, “so I looked off a copy of it I’ve had on desk for ages, but it’s so faded that I mistook a 5 for a 6."

Melinda smiled. “That would do it.”

Phil laughed again. “I know this isn’t all that funny, but it’s nice to laugh about something, you know?”

“Yeah, I get that.”

Neither of them said anything for a moment.

“You have any relationship woes to complain about?” Phil asked conversationally.

Melinda laughed this time. “No, I’m fresh out at the moment.”

“Well that’s good then,” Phil replied, a little more brightly. 

“Not all that good,” Melinda clarified. “I’m only out of relationship woes because I got divorced two months ago.”

“Ouch,” Phil replied, his voice soft. “That sucks. Sorry I brought it up.” Phil sounded sad once again. 

Melinda sighed to herself. Of course she would screw things up with the first person she had had a real conversation with in weeks. “No, I shouldn’t have said anything. That’s not the kind of thing you’re supposed to talk about in a security response call.” 

“Hey, I started it,” Phil replied immediately. “I’m the one who turned this into some sort of relationship counseling hotline.” 

Melinda found herself smiling again. “Well, I’m happy to help.” 

“I’m sure you can’t mean that, but thank you all the same,” Phil replied.

Melinda laughed but found that Phil was actually wrong. This was first time Melinda had ever told a client she was happy to have helped them and had it actually be the truth. This short conversation with Phil was undoubtedly the highlight of her time working at Shield so far. 

“Well good luck with Audrey,” Melinda said after a moment. “And try to avoid ordering Portland Chinese take out in the future.” 

Phil laughed again. “Thanks, Melinda, I will. Well, until the next time I fall apart and Comms thinks I’m a danger to the company.” 

“Until then,” Melinda replied with a smile. “Bye, Phil.” 

“Bye, Melinda.” 

And Melinda was left alone in her cubicle once again. 

Phil’s contact was still up on her screen, and Melinda allowed herself a quick scan through his company information. 

Phil was just a little older than herself and had apparently worked his way up through the ranks as a manager and big-picture sort of guy before landing his current position as head of Research and Development. The guy had contacts all over the place and was constantly on one trip or another. Melinda felt a pang of sadness for Phil and his girlfriend (or maybe ex-girlfriend now); even before Audrey moved away it must have been tough for them with Phil out of town all the time. 

The last part of Phil’s information began with his company photo, and Melinda found herself struck by his serious expression, betrayed only by a set of kind eyes. Kind eyes that were _very_ blue and were set within a face that was more than a little bit attractive. 

Melinda shook her head and closed Phil’s file. Odds were that even if she ended up tracking down security clearances for him or his business partners at some point in the future, she would never actually speak to him again. 

But she couldn’t help it if she hoped that she was wrong about that.


	2. Give me the number if you can find it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your kind words about the first chapter!! It really means so much. I'm really having the best time working on this, and it's almost completely written so updates should be pretty regular. 
> 
> Also I really love the May & Hunter dynamic so there's going to be a fair bit of that from now on :)
> 
> Enjoy!!

Nearly a week and a half later, just before the end of her shift, Melinda’s computer screen flashed an advanced alert: more than two wrong attempts at security passcodes by an upper division executive. These alerts were rare and were usually triggered by an exec’s little kid having a bit too much fun with their parent’s computer or a sleep deprived employee who just can’t for the life of them type their numerical code in properly, but there was certainly the underlying potential for the alert to have been triggered by someone with less than noble intentions, so it meant that this was top priority for Melinda, even if she literally only had two more minutes left before she could clock out. 

She already had planned out the rest of her night – pick up a pizza, turn on the TV, get to bed early. It wasn’t the most exciting of nights, but it was easy and Melinda really felt like she needed easy right now. But this alert meant that her lackluster evening plans had to be put on hold for a little while. 

Sighing, she called the office that the alert had come from.

“Phil Coulson,” came the answer.

“Phil?” Melinda asked, surprised. She hadn’t stopped to check which office had triggered the warning.

“Melinda?” Phil replied, clearly surprised himself. “Damn it, this is because I kept messing up my passcode, right?” 

“Yep,” Melinda answered. “More than two wrong attempts sends us an alert. You okay, Phil?” 

“Yeah,” Phil replied, sighing. He didn’t sound as distraught as he had the last time they had spoken, but he had admittedly begun that conversation clearly crying, so that was already a pretty low bar. “I just talked to Audrey for half an hour, and I’ve just been really distracted. I think I put in my bank pin instead of my security code….” Phil stopped talking for a second. “Crap is that on record now? I don’t need identity theft added to my problems.” 

Melinda laughed. “Don’t worry, I’m the only one who has access to your records right now, and I can just delete that. Give me a minute.” She clicked through a few screens and typed in some passwords and a few minutes later the offending information had been scrubbed from the server. “You’re all set. No need to fear for your bank account.” 

“Thanks a lot, Melinda,” Phil said, clearly relieved. “And I can trust that _you_ won’t go after my money now either?” 

Melinda laughed again. “Didn’t even look at the number, Phil. That would be what they call a ‘fireable offense.’” 

“I knew I could trust you,” Phil replied, laughing himself. “Besides, you know my whole sob story so I can rely on your pity for me to keep you from doing anything _too_ terrible. You don’t seem like the kind of person that would rob a guy who’s just had his heart broken.” Phil’s words were filled with bitterness. 

“So things haven’t gotten any better?” Melinda asked softly. 

Phil sighed. “Not really. I mean at least she talked to me today, but it wasn’t the nicest conversation. Lots of ‘I really can’t talk about this over the phone.’” He sighed again. “I mean I love her, of course I love her, and I want to respect that she needs some space, but I just wish she’d just stayed so we could have talked about this in person while she was here. I just feel like I’m in some kind of limbo here, nothing makes any sense.” 

“That sounds hard,” Melinda sympathized. “But I do get that she doesn’t want to talk about it over the phone. It’s difficult to have a serious conversation when you can’t see the other person.” 

“You and I don’t seem to be too bad at it, though,” Phil replied, a hint of amusement in his words. “Kind of weird that the only people who know anything about my problems with Audrey are my long-suffering assistant who found my crying in my office last week-” 

“Yikes,” Melinda interjected. 

“Oh yeah,” Phil agreed. “It was rough. But aside from her, you’re the only one who knows anything about Audrey, and we don’t even know what each other look like.” 

Melinda didn’t reply right away. 

“Or have you been stalking me since we last spoke?” Phil asked as the pause went on a bit too long. 

“I just saw your company photo in your file, that’s all,” Melinda explained hurriedly.

Phil laughed. “And what’d you think?” 

“Must be something wrong with Audrey if she’d leave that guy,” Melinda deadpanned back. 

Phil laughed again. “You flatter me, Melinda.”

Melinda allowed herself a smile. “You shouldn’t be too hard on yourself.” 

“I’ll open with that the next time I talk to Audrey,” Phil replied. “Maybe if I tell her that a Comms employee I’ve spoken with twice thought my picture was cute she’ll take me back.” 

Melinda raised her eyebrows. “Never said you were cute, Phil.” 

“And there it is,” Phil replied, “knife right through my ego.” 

“And here I was supposed to make you feel better,” Melinda intoned. “I guess I better just steal all your money and make a clean job of cutting you down.” 

“You said you didn’t look at my pin!” Phil’s voice was a mix of mock anger and amusement. 

“No one said I was trustworthy.” 

“Noted. Now I’ll just need to get Bobbi to run a background check on you.” 

“Bobbi?” Melinda asked. 

“My poor assistant,” Phil clarified. “She’s absolutely brilliant, but was oddly not very comforting when she found me crying.” 

“No?” Melinda hadn’t spent a lot of time talking to Phil but she couldn’t really imagine _not_ comforting him. 

Phil let out an amused sigh. “Yeah, I think she felt really bad, but apparently she and her boyfriend have broken up and gotten back together a million times so I think she thought I was being a little pathetic.” 

Melinda frowned slightly. “That’s not quite fair. You and Audrey have been together for a long time, and it seems like things have been pretty solid to this point.” 

“You’re giving me some unearned credit there, Melinda,” Phil said, his voice laced with sadness. “Audrey and I have been kind of bumpy for pretty much our entire relationship. I was always away on this trip or that trip, and then she got that job in Portland, which made it even worse. Really I should have been a lot more prepared for this than I was.” He paused. “And I can assure you I looked _extremely_ pathetic when Bobbi found me crying onto an already signed contract we’d just gotten in from China. The CEO gave me a weird look when he found that some of the writing on the last page was blurry from where my tears landed on it.” 

“Wow, you weren’t kidding.” 

“Yeah,” Phil replied sheepishly. “Thank God I’ve got a good reputation going around here. And that Bobbi isn’t one to gossip.” 

“But now you’re betting that _I’m_ not going to gossip about you,” Melinda pointed out. 

“Shit, you’re right.” Phil didn’t sound too concerned. “But someone who won’t steal from me when I’m so pathetic and heartbroken will also not destroy my company reputation… right?” 

Melinda laughed. “Your secret’s safe with me, Phil. Don’t worry.” 

“Thanks for that,” Phil replied genuinely. He sighed. “I guess I should get back to wallowing in self pity, only with my proper security codes.” 

“Well that sounds terrible.” Melinda thought for a moment. “Didn’t you mention going to see Audrey perform the last time we talked?” 

“Yeah,” Phil replied, noticeably more subdued than he had been before. “She has a concert this weekend.” 

“Why don’t you go? Melinda suggested. “It’d give you something to think about so you don’t end up ‘wallowing in self pity’ as you said. And maybe you could work things out with Audrey, or at least get some closure. Seems like you really need that.” 

“God, yeah, that’d be great,” Phil replied instantly. “But I don’t know. She doesn’t want to see me.”

“Did she say that?” Melinda asked. 

“Not in so many words.” 

“Then go for it, Phil,” Melinda said with a sense of finality. “What do you have to lose?” 

“That’s true,” Phil said slowly. “I can make the time this weekend, and at the very least we could leave things better than they are…” Phil was speaking more to himself than he was so Melinda, so she let him ramble on. 

After a moment she spoke again. “At least think about it, okay Phil?” 

“Yeah, I will,” Phil replied, still not completely with her. “I definitely will.” 

“Well, I guess I should let you go then,” Melinda said when the silence stretched between them a little too long. 

“Right, yeah, you too,” Phil said and paused. “Shit it’s almost 7:30, when does your shift end?”

“Seven,” Melinda answered. 

“Oh God I’m so sorry!” Phil sounded as upset at making her stay late as he had talking about Audrey.

“It’s okay, Phil,” Melinda placated the executive. “I had to deal with the security threat, and honestly it’s nice to have someone to talk to. Things can get kind of boring in Comms.” 

“Jeez, it must be bad if talking to me is better than regular work,” Phil replied with his typical self-deprecation. 

“Next time I hear from you, I’d like you to not be so negative about yourself, Phil,” Melinda said, doing her best impression of the marriage counselor that Andrew had insisted they see before the divorce. 

Her effort was rewarded with a laugh from Phil. “I’ll do what I can on that front. Thanks for listening, Melinda.” 

“Anytime.” Melinda smiled. “Have a good night, Phil.” 

“You too, Melinda.” 

Phil hung up and Melinda sat in her cubicle for a moment before she started to pack up her things and close out her computer. 

“What are you still doing here, May?” a male British voice asked from behind her. 

“Last minute high level security alert,” Melinda responded without turning around. 

“Didn’t sound like a security alert,” the man continued. “I’m pretty sure I heard a laugh or two in there.” 

Melinda finally turned around to face Lance Hunter’s smug grin. 

She rolled her eyes. Melinda didn’t mind Hunter, if pressed she might even say that she was fond of the man. He was the one who had told her about the job opening at Shield when he found her drinking alone at Mack’s bar a week after the divorce was finalized. 

“You know, May, we need another security tech at Shield,” he’d said, unprompted, after sitting beside her for a minute in silence. “Better pay then you’ve got now, you’d get away from the nastiness with Andrew, and we could have cubicles next to each other!” 

Melinda had glared at him at the last point, but she didn’t object when he called to tell her she had an interview a couple days later. 

She didn’t see him at work often – their cubicles were, as promised, next to each other, but their hours didn’t always overlap. He also claimed he had a girlfriend who worked somewhere in the offices, and his regular absences from his desk when he and Melinda were working at the same time were explained by him going to visit her. Of course none of their friends had ever seen this “girlfriend” since she and Hunter were apparently invariably fighting about something and Hunter claimed that they’d all take her side if they met her, to which the gang would always reply that they took her side already and they didn’t even know her name. 

Honestly, Melinda hadn’t really seen any of her friends since she’d stopped working with Andrew. The friends that she’d had from before they started their firm were all too connected with Andrew, so she didn’t even try to stay in touch with them. And besides them her friends had been the kids working with her at the firm, all about 10 or 15 years younger than her, but all genuinely nice, fun, and very good at their jobs. The youngest of the group, Daisy, had been friends with Mack, the owner of a local bar, and they’d met Hunter through him. Mack was the only one to have met Hunter’s mysterious girlfriend, and he assured the whole group that they’d like her way more than they liked Hunter. 

Melinda had thought more than once about getting in contact with Daisy or Jemma, one of the others in their group, but she didn’t know what to say. Her former co-workers had no real contact with Andrew besides him being their boss (Andrew had always been wary of becoming too chummy with his employees, but those concerns had never affected Melinda), but they didn’t work together anymore. Even if Melinda thought of Daisy as her protégé and she was invested in the almost relationship between Jemma and her longtime work partner and best friend Fitz, it would still be awkward to get back in touch with them after more than a month without contact. So the handful of texts she’d gotten from Daisy over the past month and a half and even the emailed articles from Jemma and Fitz had gone unanswered. 

“I was being pleasant to one of the execs,” Melinda answered Hunter finally. “Problem?” 

Hunter held up his hands to defend himself. “No, no problem. Just I haven’t heard you laugh in a while is all.” 

Melinda rolled her eyes, stood up, and grabbed her bag. “Don’t get all sappy on me, Hunter.” 

Hunter grinned. “Never, May. You know me.” 

Melinda shook her head and walked out past him, a raised hand her only goodbye.

As much as she didn’t like to admit it, Hunter was right; Melinda hadn’t laughed in a while. Since the divorce, and even before the divorce as everything was falling apart between her and Andrew, she’d hardly laughed at all. Really, in the two short conversations she’d had with Phil Coulson, a random executive she’d never even met in real life, she’d laughed more than she had in months. 

Melinda sighed and just hoped wherever Phil was now, likely several floors above her in some large upper management office, he was working up the courage to go visit Audrey. The guy deserved to be happy.


	3. Just to tell her I'm fine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is where things get a little bit more complicated with these guys. As much as I started out wanting to write a more straightforward Coulson and May fall in love fic, I ended up with a kind of getting-May-out-of-the-dark-place-she's-been-in-for-months arc within this fic that really starts in this chapter. I just feel like she needs that as a character (in this fic and also in the show, poor May), so there's gonna be more of that to come (and also always more Philinda obviously).
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading so far and for being so enthusiastic! It seriously means so much <3
> 
> Enjoy!

After she ran into Hunter the day she’d last spoken to Phil, she kept seeing him. He was always hanging around her cubicle when she went to take a break, and he kept insisting she eat lunch with him. Apparently he and the “girlfriend” were in the middle of a fight, but Melinda knew that Hunter wouldn’t be this clingy even if he didn’t have his mystery girlfriend to occupy his time. He also started inviting Melinda to come out to Mack’s with the rest of the gang, but she always declined.

“Seriously May, tonight, you’ve got to come,” Hunter pleaded after about a week of smothering her. 

“No, Hunter,” Melinda repeated for what felt like the millionth time. “Get back to work.” 

Hunter sighed, clearly annoyed, but he disappeared back into his own cubicle where a moment later she heard residual music coming from Hunter’s headset. 

Melinda rolled her eyes, feeling sorry for Hunter’s eardrums, and got back to processing the clearances that she had been working on before Hunter interrupted her. 

Barely a minute had passed before a security alert popped up on her screen. 

This time Melinda recognized it instantly. Phil Coulson was ordering Chinese food from Portland once again. 

“Phil Coulson,” he picked up immediately. 

“What did I tell you about Portland takeout?”

Phil laughed. “I thought you’d get a kick out of that.” He seemed to be in an excellent mood, much better than he’d been even a week before, let alone the sniffling mess of their first conversation.

“You messed up Audrey’s number on purpose?” Melinda was confused. 

“You don’t have an actual number in the company directory,” Phil replied matter-of-factly, “and I needed to get in touch with you.” 

It was Melinda’s turn to laugh. “You needed to get in touch with me so badly that you purposely caused a security alert? What if it hadn’t been my shift or the alert had gone to someone else?” 

“I _may_ have done this a couple times already so…” Phil trailed off. 

“Phil!” Melinda reprimanded him. “We have actual jobs to do down in the Comms office, unlike you, apparently.” 

“If you had a real extension I wouldn’t have had to do that,” Phil argued back. 

“I _do_ have a listed email.” 

“That’s not the same!” 

Melinda rolled her eyes but couldn’t stop herself from laughing. “So what’s so important that you had to trigger multiple security alerts to contact me?” 

“Audrey and I are back together!” 

“Oh that’s great, Phil!” Melinda said automatically, but she suddenly felt like she’d had the wind knocked out of her. Melinda knew that she was supposed to be happy about this - _she_ had been the one who suggested that Phil go to Portland to fix things with Audrey, and really this was exactly what Melinda should have expected – but for some reason Phil’s words made Melinda feel almost sick. 

Phil didn’t seem to notice. “I know! We talked about everything, and she said she missed me too, and we’re giving it another try. Going out to visit her was such a great idea. Thank you so much, Melinda.” 

Melinda smiled slightly at his words, grateful to hear him sound happy at least. “Of course, Phil. I’m so glad it worked out. Less security work for me.” 

Phil laughed. “Well that’s the real reason I wanted to fix things with my girlfriend, obviously, to make _your_ life easier." 

“Hey, it helps you too,” Melinda fired back. “If you cause too many security threats in a short period of time you could get a formal reprimand, have to take a class on Shield security, or even have a hold placed on your company account.” 

“Shit.” 

Melinda laughed. “You’re still good for now, especially since you’ve fixed things with Audrey.” 

“But how am I supposed to get in contact with you?” Phil asked, his words sincere. 

Melinda didn’t know how to respond. She had assumed that Phil had enjoyed their back and forth just as she had, but the fact that he wanted to stay in touch even now that all was right in his world came as a shock to her. 

“Sorry, was that weird? Sorry, I, uh, I’d gotten used to talking to you,” Phil rambled as Melinda didn’t reply. 

“No, it’s not weird,” Melinda interrupted him finally. “I’ve gotten used to talking to you too.” 

“Good.” Phil was clearly beaming. “So how can I contact you?” 

Melinda thought for a moment. She’d never had the need for anyone to get in touch with her while she was at work… “I’m actually not sure… I’ll get back to you on that one.”

“You don’t know?” Phil asked incredulously. 

“Hey, I’ve only worked here a month, I don’t know everything.” 

“Only a month?” Phil asked curiously. “I always assumed you’d been here longer.” 

“Well technically a bit over a month,” Melinda corrected herself. “My ex-husband and I ran a cyber security firm, but after the divorce…” She trailed off. 

“Got you,” Phil said immediately. 

“I can call you though,” Melinda said, skipping over her divorce. 

“That’ll have to do then,” Phil replied seriously. Without warning he started to laugh. 

“What’s so funny?” Melinda asked him. 

“Nothing at all!” he replied genuinely. “I’m just happy, Melinda. Why isn’t everyone always this happy?” 

Melinda had to chuckle in spite of herself. “I think you know the answer to that one yourself, Mr. My-Assistant-Found-Me-Crying-in-My-Office-Two-Weeks-Ago.” 

“How dare you mention the Tear-stained Contract Incident?” Phil replied, pretending to be upset. 

“You’re the one who was crying, not me,” Melinda responded evenly, successfully keeping herself from laughing. 

Phil sighed exasperatedly. “Fair point. But, back to my original argument – I think that everyone who has the ability to be as happy as I am right now should do whatever they can to be this happy. I mean life’s too short, you know?” 

Melinda decided not to remind him that _she_ had had to strongly encourage him to even _think_ about going to visit Audrey in Portland. 

“What about you, Melinda?” 

“What about me?” 

“You’ve helped me figure out how to be happy,” he explained, “so how can I help you?” 

Melinda was touched that he wanted to help her, but what could he do? Save her marriage? Let her have a baby? She just didn’t have the potential for the exuberant happiness that Phil was expressing. “I’m okay as I am Phil.” 

“Of course you are,” Phil said quickly. “But you just always seem kind of sad, and I really wish I could help.” 

“Thanks, Phil,” Melinda said softly after a moment. “You’re a really good guy, you know that?” 

Phil laughed. “Don’t make this about me, I’m trying to help _you_.” He paused for a moment. “When was the last time you went out with your friends?” 

“I’m not sure that’s any of your business,” Melinda replied, closing herself off. 

But Phil was undeterred. “So it’s been a while then? Okay Melinda, last time we talked you told me to be less self-deprecating, which I think I’ve done adequately this conversation, so this time I have homework for you – I want you to call up whatever friend you like and have a night out, and even if you don’t feel like it, I want you to pretend everything’s fine.” He paused. “What do you have to lose?” he said after a moment, echoing Melinda’s words from the week before. 

Melinda sighed. “I’ll think about it, Phil,” she said finally. “You might be right.” 

“Of course I’m right.” She could almost see Phil’s smile through the phone. “Okay, well contrary to your opinion, I do actually have work to do here.” 

Melinda raised her eyebrows. “Hey, you called me… or technically you made me call you,” she amended. 

Phil laughed. “Yeah, yeah, I know it’s my fault.” 

Neither of them spoke for a moment. 

“It was really good to hear about you and Audrey,” Melinda said finally, finding that the statement felt both true and not true as she said it. She was glad to hear from Phil certainly, and she was especially glad to hear him so happy, but it still felt wrong somehow. It was like she really wasn’t okay with the reality of Phil, a man she had literally only spoken to twice, and Audrey, a woman she knew almost nothing about, being in a relationship together. Melinda felt almost… disappointed… or something. She really didn’t know what to make of that. 

“Thank you, Melinda, truly,” Phil replied, his voice happy but soft. “And please call your friends, for me.” 

“I’ll think about it, okay?” 

“Okay. Bye, Melinda.”

“Bye, Phi.” 

Melinda disconnected the call and sat back in her chair, staring in front of her for a few moments. Finally she sighed, got up, and poked her head around to the cubicle next to her. 

“Hunter,” she tried to call out to her friend, but his music was too loud for him to hear her. “Hunter! HUNTER!” 

“May!” Hunter said finally, turning around to her and pulling his headset down around his neck, ‘70s soft rock (not what Melinda had expected) still blasting from the speakers. 

“You’re going to go deaf, you know that right?” 

Hunter grinned. “Aw, you care.” But he still turned the volume down so Melinda could barely hear the lyrics coming from the headset. 

Melinda rolled her eyes. “What time is everyone meeting tonight?” she asked. 

Hunter’s eyes lit up, but he kept his voice even as though trying not to scare her off. “About 7 or 7:30 maybe? At Mack’s of course.” 

Melinda nodded. “Okay. I’ll be there.” 

Hunter refrained from celebrating until May had gone back to her desk. 

Melinda rolled her eyes again as she heard Hunter cheer. She put her headset back on and was left with the few bars of the song Hunter had been listening to playing in her head. 

 _Operator, well could you help me place this call?_  
_See, the number on the matchbook is old and faded._  
_She’s living in L.A. with my best old ex-friend Ray,  
__A guy she said she knew well and sometimes hated._  

Something about the words reminded her of Phil, but Melinda tried to shake him out of her mind. Phil was her _friend_ , just her friend. She had no reason to think about him, no reason to try to overanalyze the disappointment she’d felt in the pit of her stomach when he talked about Audrey. No reason to do or think _anything_ related to the Shield Research and Development Director. 

Besides, she had work to do and then… then she was going to see her friends for the first time in ages. And maybe she was actually a little bit excited about that.


	4. I've overcome the blow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the rest of the team needed to get in here (and May needed to have a good night), so here we are :)
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading and for leaving comments. You all are the best!!!
> 
> Enjoy!!

Melinda didn’t reach the bar until after 8, stopping home after work to eat quickly and change and then sit and debate with herself for a further fifteen minutes about whether she actually wanted to take this step or not. 

A voice in her heard that sounded a lot like Phil had won out in the end, telling her that it was important for her to go see her friends. 

She took a deep breath and finally opened the door to the loud, cozy bar that she’d spent many hours at over the last few years. 

“MAY!” Daisy’s voice reached her almost immediately, and the younger woman’s body quickly followed. 

Melinda found herself enveloped in a hug that made her feel more cared about than she had felt in a long time. Melinda couldn’t help but hug Daisy back. 

“We’ve really missed you, May,” Daisy said as she released Melinda. She looked directly in Melinda’s eyes, each word heavy with meaning. 

Melinda broke her gaze, if only because her eyes were tearing up, and she couldn’t let anyone see that. 

Daisy grabbed her hand and led her through the maze of bar patrons to the booth where their four other friends, plus one man, maybe a little older than Daisy, that Melinda had never seen before, were gathered. 

“May!” 

“MAY!” 

“You came!” 

All her friends practically jumped on her as she arrived at their table. 

Jemma hugged her first. “Oh, it’s so good to see you! Fitz and I have been so worried about you off with only Hunter for company.” 

Fitz nodded his agreement and hugged her too. 

“Oy, I’m good company thank you very much!” Hunter cried indignantly. 

Mack snorted. “Good company my ass.” He wrapped an arm around Melinda in a side hug. “Nice to have you back, May. We’ve missed having you around. You’re the only person that can get this one to shut up.” 

He jerked his head at Hunter who threw up his hands. 

“Is this just making fun of Lance Hunter hour then?”

Melinda raised her eyebrows. “Sounds like a good time to me.” 

The rest of the group cheered as Hunter groaned. 

“Oh, but this is Lincoln.” Daisy recalled Melinda’s attention and pointed at the blond man in the booth next to Hunter. “He works with us.” 

“Ah, my replacement,” Melinda said, relishing the awkward looks that passed between her former co-workers. “Relax, it’s fine. Nice to meet you, Lincoln.” She extended her hand. “These kids all call me May, so I guess you can too.” 

The younger man took it gratefully. “It’s great to meet you, May. I’ve heard so much about you. The whole system you developed is really amazing. It works so smoothly, and half the time I don’t feel like I’m even doing a job.” Lincoln was rambling a little bit, but Melinda didn’t mind. He seemed sweet, if a bit over-eager. 

“Calm down, kid,” Melinda stopped him, adding a small smile to be a little less threatening (Daisy, Jemma, and Fitz had all confessed to being threatened by her when they’d first met her, something which Melinda didn’t really mind to be honest, but maybe it wasn’t the _best_ way to make a first impression). “I’m no saint. But thank you. I do miss working with my own system.” 

“Hunter says Shield’s system’s first rate,” Jemma interjected, evidently fearing some awkwardness if they talked too much about Melinda’s old job. 

Melinda nodded her agreement. “It’s some pretty cool tech. I’d love for you and Fitz to get a look at it. Job’s not as fun, but it has its moments.” Most of those moments were related to a certain R&D Director, but Melinda decided not to mention that. 

Mack got Melinda a drink, and almost immediately the entire group became absorbed in a conversation about new security tech, Jemma, Fitz, Daisy, and even Lincoln updating Melinda on the latest advances at their firm and Hunter and Melinda telling their friends about what they were up to at Shield (Mack having slipped out quietly to “help out the bartender,” which Melinda knew meant that he was long sick of his tech-obsessed friends and wanted to miss this part of the conversation). 

An hour later, all of the tech talk had been exhausted, and Mack had returned from the bar sensing that it was safe. Melinda sat back in the booth where she was squeezed next to Jemma and Fitz with Daisy, Lincoln, and Hunter across from them and Mack standing at one end, and she finally broached the subject they had all been sidestepping the whole night. 

“So how are things at the firm?” Melinda asked, taking a sip of her beer to make her question seem more casual than it was. “I don’t mean tech-wise, but, you know, everything else.” Andrew. She meant how were things with Andrew.

Daisy, Jemma, Fitz, and Lincoln exchanged quick glances with each other before Daisy spoke. It seemed she’d been chosen by the group to handle this tricky subject. 

“It’s weird without you,” Daisy began, to a flurry of nods from Jemma and Fitz. “Andrew’s never worked with us like you did, so it’s been kind of us trying to pick up the slack.” 

Melinda smiled at that. “I’m sure you guys are doing great. I wouldn’t have left if I didn’t have total faith in you.” 

The younger woman beamed at Melinda. “That means a lot. And I guess things are going okay, especially now that we have Lincoln to help out too.” 

Daisy flashed a smile at the man next to her, and Lincoln ducked his head. 

Melinda raised her eyebrows. Apparently the possible relationship between Jemma and Fitz wasn’t the only thing going on back at her old firm. 

Daisy turned back to May and continued. “We still don’t see Andrew a whole lot. He’s always off doing the big picture, company management, keeping clients happy sort of stuff. But I think he feels kind of weird with us, since we were so close to you but we’re still working for him.” 

Melinda frowned slightly. The one thing she’d tried to avoid was any weirdness between her ex-husband and her former co-workers. 

“It’s not bad though, really,” Jemma interjected quickly, seeing Melinda’s frown. “Like Daisy said, we really don’t see him often, and he’s just our boss.” 

“Yeah, he was never really our friend,” Fitz added. “He never wanted to be.” 

Melinda raised her eyebrows at Fitz. “Is that implying that _I_ wanted to be friends with you guys?” 

Daisy burst out laughing. “Oh you _so_ wanted to be friends with us, May. And even if you didn’t, we weren’t taking no for an answer.” 

“If I remember correctly, you three were scared of me for your first month at the firm.” 

Fitz nodded. “Bloody terrified, more like. It’s your eyes, they just bore into your soul.”

Melinda stared Fitz down before he looked away shuddering.

“Just like that! You did that to me my first day. Haven’t been the same since.” 

The entire group laughed, while Jemma patted Fitz’s arm comfortingly. 

“Even though we were scared of you, you were too cool for us not to want to be friends with you,” Daisy explained with a small smile on her face. “And you always taught us stuff, and not in a like ‘I have to teach you guys this stuff because I’m in charge’ way but in a ‘I genuinely want you guys to learn and I care about you becoming better at your jobs and also at your lives’ way. I definitely learned a lot from you that wasn’t even about cyber security.” 

Jemma and Fitz nodded their agreement.

Melinda was touched. All three of these kids were brilliant; they had just needed some guidance and advice here and there. Melinda had never felt like she’d done all that much for them… but here they were. 

“Yeah, when I first met you guys I thought you were their mom for a second,” Hunter intoned. 

The entire group quieted instantly as Melinda turned to Hunter, unblinking. 

“What?” she said, her voice low but menacing. 

“Well, I mean not their mom, more like a cool aunt?” Hunter tried again, keeping his eyes fixed on his beer in front of him. 

Melinda continued to stare at her co-worker. 

Hunter finally looked up at her and fell out of the booth trying to get away from her line of sight.

“Come on Fitz, help me out here,” Hunter pleaded to the other man to help make an escape. 

Fitz held up his hands. “No way I’m getting involved in this one, mate.” 

“Don’t let May kill me, guys,” Hunter pleaded. “I’m the one who got her to come tonight. Don’t I deserve something for that?” 

Melinda finally rolled her eyes. “You didn’t get me to come tonight, Hunter.” 

“I did too!” Hunter replied, indignantly, standing up himself and sitting back down next to Lincoln. “I’ve been pestering you about it all week.” 

“And when has your pestering ever gotten you anything?” 

Hunter thought for a moment. “Huh.” 

Melinda smirked at him. “Exactly. It wasn’t you.” 

“Then why _did_ you decide to come tonight, May?” Mack asked, leaning back in his chair and finishing his beer. “Hunter’s been bragging about it nonstop since this afternoon.” 

“A, ah, friend of mine suggested I do something that would make me happy, like take a night out with my friends,” Melinda said, not wanting to give away too much information. 

Daisy, Jemma, and Fitz all exchanged smiles at Melinda’s words, but Hunter was still upset. 

“What friend?” he asked, unconvinced. “This afternoon I asked you about coming tonight and then maybe 15 minutes later, not even, you come by and say you’re coming. What _friend_ did you talk to while we were working?” 

Melinda sighed. “There’s a Shield exec I’ve had to respond to security alerts from a couple times now. We’ve gotten to be friends. He’s a nice guy.” 

“He?” Daisy leaned forward as a grin spread across her face. “Oh do tell.” 

Melinda rolled her eyes. “It’s not like that, Daisy. He’s got a girlfriend. Actually most of our friendship has been dedicated to him trying to work things out with said girlfriend. He contacted me today just to tell me that they’re back together and that he’s so happy about it.” Melinda couldn’t help the note of bitterness that tinged her words. 

Daisy clearly noticed the change in Melinda’s tone. “But you _like_ him, don’t you?” 

“I like having a friend who isn’t as nosy as you people,” Melinda shot back. It wasn’t quite a fair blow – Phil was actually almost as nosy as Daisy, though Melinda for some reason minded his nosiness a lot less. 

Daisy smiled sheepishly at Melinda. “Sorry. Got a little carried away. Really whoever this guy is, I’m glad he got you to come out tonight.” 

Melinda offered a small smile in return. “Yeah, I’m glad too.” 

“Wait a minute,” Hunter said after a moment. “Was this the exec who made you laugh when you told me you were just being ‘pleasant’ the other day?” 

“Damn! May can _laugh_?” 

Melinda ignored Mack’s comment (and Daisy’s pointed stare that was trying to force Melinda to admit she liked Phil) and stared down Hunter once again. “Do you want to die? Because it _really_ seems like you do.” 

“Okay, threatening Hunter means it’s time to go play pool,” Daisy said standing up and grabbing Melinda to get her away from her prey. “Old teams? May and I against Fitzsimmons?” 

Fitz and Jemma grinned. 

“You’re going down, Johnson,” Fitz said. “Remember how bad we demolished you last week.” 

Daisy laughed. “Yeah, I was playing with _Lincoln_.” She turned to the other man. “Sorry, but you kind of suck.” 

Lincoln laughed. “Thanks Daisy, always nice to talk to you.” He turned to Hunter and Mack. “Darts?” 

The three men retreated over to the dartboard, leaving the rest of the group to commandeer the pool table. 

Melinda picked up a cue and smiled as Fitz racked up the balls. 

Everyone agreed it was Melinda’s turn to break, but when she immediately got two balls in, Fitz and Jemma turned to each other, concern etched on their faces. 

Daisy grinned and high-fived Melinda. “Glad to have you back, May.” 

“Glad to be back,” Melinda said to herself as she sank another ball and Daisy cheered her on. 

Phil had been right. It was _really_ nice to feel this happy again.


	5. I've learned to take it well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to Melinda and Phil, and for once they're both doing okay, or mostly okay :)
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading and for leaving such sweet comments. You guys are lovely <3
> 
> Enjoy!

The rest of the week and the weekend passed more quickly for Melinda than had any period of time at Shield so far. She now ate lunch willingly with Hunter and exchanged texts with Daisy and articles with Fitz and Jemma over breaks. The whole group had gotten brunch on Sunday, and then Daisy had dragged Melinda and Jemma to the mall for some “girl time,” where Melinda learned that Daisy indeed had a thing for Lincoln and she was pretty sure that Lincoln liked her back but neither of them had acted on it. Jemma had also confessed, when heavily pressed, that yes she did like Fitz but she was worried about jeopardizing their friendship. Daisy had rolled her eyes, informed her friend that their co-worker was clearly madly in love with her, and threatened to lock them in a closet if they didn’t get it together soon. Melinda hadn’t commented, but she agreed with Daisy; Fitz and Jemma had been dancing around this thing for way too long. 

Monday came with a new surprise; Melinda and Hunter’s boss, Anne Weaver, a severe, but kind, woman, was going to be out for the next two weeks, and Melinda had been selected to fill in for her, despite her limited amount of time working at Shield. Anne’s job involved actually communicating with employees about clearances for new clients or potential business partners, essentially inputting all the tasks that Melinda typically had to perform on a daily basis. Melinda felt mostly qualified for the mini-promotion, but she wasn’t too thrilled about the prospect of talking to random Shield employees for a whole week. 

Things started out busy, but slowed as the week went on and Melinda felt more comfortable in her new temporary role. 

She spent most of Wednesday catching up on other work, and it wasn’t until an hour before lunch that she got her first call of the day. 

“Shield Communications,” she said into her headset as she answered the call. 

“Hey Anne, it’s Phil,” came the voice on the other end of the line. A voice that Melinda knew well. 

“Phil?” 

There was a pause.

“Melinda?” 

Melinda smiled realizing that Phil could recognize her voice as easily as she knew his. 

“Yeah, Anne’s away for the next two weeks, so I’m filling in.” 

“Oh that’s great!” Phil said enthusiastically. “Makes you look good for the company, and now I know exactly how to reach you if I need to.” 

Melinda laughed. “Always thinking about yourself, aren’t you Phil?” 

Phil laughed too. “Guilty. But how are you? How did my assignment for you go?” he asked, his voice a mix of teasing and genuine curiosity. 

Melinda rolled her eyes but smiled anyway. “I went out with my friends the night you called, and it ended up being really great. We’ve met up a few times since then, and I… I’m really happier than I’ve been in a while.” She let the words settle with herself for a moment after she said them. It was true. It had been a long time since Melinda had been this happy. 

“That’s so great, Melinda!” Melinda could almost see the enormous smile that had clearly spread across Phil’s face. “You deserve to be happy more than anyone I know.” 

Melinda was grateful that Phil couldn’t see her blushing. 

“And things are going well with Audrey?” Melinda asked politely, moving the conversation away from herself. 

“Yeah they are,” Phil replied, clearly still smiling. “Best week in a while for me too.” 

Neither of them spoke for a moment. 

“You know, our entire friendship has been based entirely around us helping each other through emotional hardships,” Phil said finally. 

Melinda scoffed. “Excuse me, you’re the one with the emotional hardships, not me.” 

“Being sad and not spending time with friends counts as an emotional hardship,” Phil countered. 

Melinda didn’t argue. 

“So, like I was saying,” Phil continued when he had determined that Melinda had backed down, “our entire friendship so far is us helping each other through stuff, so maybe it would be good if we actually got to know each other, like as normal people, not as people who are having break downs in their offices.” 

“That was just you,” Melinda corrected immediately. “And I only have a cubicle, no office.” 

“See, we’re already learning so much about each other.”

Melinda laughed. 

“How about your friends?” Phil asked curiously. “What are they like?” 

Melinda didn’t like opening up to people, but she found herself telling Phil all about her old coworkers, how much she had valued the opportunity to mentor them, and how much it had meant to hear that they had appreciated her advice and experience. She told Phil about Mack and his bar and about Hunter and how Hunter was her only friend in her office and (here she looked around quickly to make sure he wasn’t listening) how much she appreciated having him there with her, even if he was too smug and was constantly just asking to be punched. 

She learned all about Phil’s friends who had all started in Shield together years ago, some having gone on to other projects but a few still working as executives. Even the CEO himself was an old friend of Phil (which made his story about handing the CEO a contract covered in Phil’s dried tears even more entertaining). Even though Phil still had semi-regular contact with at least some of them, he told her how hard it was to actually do “friend” sort of things when they were so busy. He confessed that losing Audrey the other week had been especially hard since he just didn’t have anyone to talk to except her. 

As Melinda heard the note of loneliness that laced Phil’s voice, she realized that she and Phil’s conversations over the past few weeks had meant just as much to Phil as they had to her. They both had really needed each other right at that exact moment. Melinda was hit with a wave of gratitude for Phil and for whatever bit of fate (or ray of sun, since a sunlight-faded copy of Audrey’s phone number had put her and Phil in touch in the first place) that had allowed them to become friends. 

But their conversation continued. Phil told Melinda about how he’d gotten good at drawing up contracts and keeping both parties happy as an underling and how he’d ended up directing Research and Development not because he’d done anything important in R&D but because all of the higher ups in the department really liked him and trusted him to get them funding, which he did. 

Melinda replied with stories about getting her start in cyber security, how Andrew had been the business manager, while she took care of the technical stuff. She told him how much it hurt to say goodbye to the business that she’d worked so hard on, how it was almost like giving her husband full custody of the kids, especially since Melinda almost thought of her young coworkers as her kids. And she told him about how different it was working at Shield where she just operated from her little cubicle and only ever talked to Hunter, if she talked to anyone at all. 

“You talk to me,” Phil said in a small voice after her admission. 

Melinda smiled wistfully. “Yeah, I talk to you. And that’s meant a lot to me these past few weeks,” she added softly, unsure why she was even admitting something so personal. 

“Me too,” Phil replied in a tone that matched hers. 

“Hey May, it’s lunch,” Hunter’s voice pulled May back to reality. 

May checked her clock. Actually it was 10 minutes past lunch. 

“Shit, Phil, I’ve got to go.” 

“Oh wow, I can’t believe we’ve been talking for that long…” 

“Yeah, I know what you mean.” Melinda smiled softly to herself. 

“Wait, I actually called Comms for a reason,” Phil said suddenly. “I need clearances for the R&D heads at another firm that we’re going to be working with for a project.” 

“Oh, right, actual work,” Melinda replied, laughing. “Just give me the information, and I’ll get it set up first thing after lunch.” 

Phil quickly rattled off the information she needed as she typed it down. 

“Okay, I’ll let you go,” he said after he finished. “Thanks a lot, Melinda.” 

“Anytime, Phil. It was really nice talking with you.” 

“It’s _always_ nice talking to you,” Phil replied easily. 

Melinda’s heart beat faster at Phil’s words. She actually _meant_ something to this director whose face she had only ever seen in a picture.  _He has a girlfriend,_ she forced herself to think, _and we’re friends. Friends._

“Bye Phil,” Melinda said instead of anything that she would regret later.

“Bye Melinda.” 

Melinda finally emerged from her cubicle with her lunch to face a smirking Hunter. 

“Your mystery exec?” Hunter asked. 

Melinda rolled her eyes but said nothing, walking toward the employee lounge. 

“Was that the same person you were talking to when I went by your cubicle an hour ago?” Hunter continued, trying and failing to sound casual with his question. 

Melinda continued to ignore him. 

“Wow, so it’s serious then.” Hunter raised his eyebrows. “Gonna need some information to report back to the troops so we can look up him.” 

Melinda glared at Hunter. 

“Or we can do that another time,” he amended, his smirk disappearing from his face as he shrunk away from her. 

Melinda nodded. “Better.” 

She’d just had a truly lovely conversation with a man she barely knew. She’d confessed to him all her feelings about leaving her and Andrew’s firm, feelings she’d never told anyone, not Daisy or even her mother. There was just something about Phil that she found so comforting. Talking to him made her feel safe in a way she hadn’t felt since everything fell apart with Andrew. She couldn’t quite wrap her head around how this man, this voice through her headset if she was being accurate, had somehow wormed his way, very seriously, into her life. 

“May? May are you listening to me?” 

“Sorry Hunter, what?” Melinda asked, almost apologetically. 

Hunter rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath that sounded like “typical.” 

Melinda laughed to herself and tried to pay attention to whatever Hunter was saying, but no matter how hard she tried, her thoughts came right back to Phil. Somehow, it was always Phil.


	6. If my words could convince myself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's a little less happy than the last couple chapters have been, but I feel like it's important to go here before they move forward :)
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and leaving such wonderful comments. You guys have no idea how much I appreciate every single one of y'all <3
> 
> Enjoy!

Phil called back the next day, late, near the end of her shift so they wouldn’t have to avoid work to talk. As soon as Melinda answered, Phil had stated explicitly that he had no actual company pretext for calling her; he just wanted to continue their conversation from the day before. Melinda had no complaints about that. 

This time Phil told her about his childhood and how he had been well liked in high school because he was smart and good at getting things done, but how he had still been branded a nerd when some other kids found out about the massive comic book collection in his closet at home. 

Melinda laughed and replied with a brief description of her life before Andrew, that she’d been quiet and unassuming, but she’d orchestrated the most complex senior prank in her high school’s history, creating such a deep web of secrecy around every aspect of the prank that not even any of the students knew she was involved, let alone any of the teachers. A couple of her close friends claimed they knew it was her, but Melinda never admitted to anything, and there was never any evidence tying her to the event, which involved several farm animals, a truckload of bouncy balls, and the complete disruption of the school’s primitive computer system (including obnoxious nineties-era graphics programmed to flash across screens in the entire school at irregular intervals for weeks after the prank was long over). 

“I never had a lot of friends though,” Melinda said after Phil stopped laughing at her description of the pandemonium she’d caused at her school. “People say I’m ‘threatening.’” 

Phil laughed again. “You? Threatening? Now I don’t actually know what you look like but I can’t imagine anyone who laughs as much as you do being a threat.” 

Melinda smiled to herself both at how wrong Phil was about her not being threatening and at Phil’s assumption that she laughed a lot. Her other friends would certainly beg to differ, but of course they weren’t Phil. “Oh you’d be surprised. I got my black belt long before I met Andrew, and I have a bit of a reputation. Grown men shudder under my gaze,” she finished dramatically, smirking even though Phil couldn’t see her. 

Phil snorted. “Sorry, sorry,” he apologized quickly. “That might be true, but you literally heard me sniffling _once_ on the phone that first day and immediately became invested in my well-being, so I’m sorry if I can’t picture you as a someone that would ever make anyone shudder.” 

“Just because I could beat you up doesn’t mean I’m not capable of compassion.” 

“You could beat me up?” Phil asked, clearly unconvinced. 

“Easy,” Melinda replied confidently. “Wouldn’t even break a sweat.” 

“Well I know you’re not one for bragging,” Phil said after a moment, “so I have to assume that you could _technically_ beat me up. However,” a smile crept into his voice, “I don’t think you could actually bring yourself to do it because we’re such good friends.” 

“I’ve threatened to beat up plenty of my friends,” Melinda replied evenly. 

Phil didn’t say anything for a moment. “Well that’s not scary at all.” 

Melinda laughed. “Told you I was threatening.” 

“I’d say disconcerting more than threatening,” Phil corrected her patronizingly. 

Melinda rolled her eyes. “Whatever you want to call it.” 

“I still say you wouldn’t beat me up,” Phil continued, undeterred. “Your friend Hunter sounds like a real piece of work, so I can see threatening him as a natural reaction, but me? Nah, I’m your nice and sometimes pathetic friend Phil, you wouldn’t hurt me.” 

“You _are_ a lot sweeter than Hunter,” Melinda conceded. 

“Yes!” Phil cheered. “Point for me!” 

Melinda laughed at him. “Whatever you say Phil.” 

The next day they’d chatted about their jobs, their days, all those things that normal friends talked about. Phil told her about the new products that he was working on getting funding for, and Melinda complained about the massive security updates she’d spent the entire day fixing bugs in for the entire company. Eventually she asked him politely about Audrey, and he replied that they had a skype date over the weekend and that he was excited to talk to her. Melinda wondered briefly if Phil would talk about the same things with Audrey that he talked about with her. 

She was on the phone with Phil for so long after work that day that she ended up being a full hour late meeting her friends at Mack’s. 

Melinda could tell that the group was curious why she’d been late (and that Hunter had clearly informed them of his own theories on Melinda’s new Shield executive friend), but she silenced any questions with a glare as she sat down, and no one said a word about it for the entire night. 

Melinda didn’t speak much at the bar, which wasn’t all that unusual, but she also barely paid attention to anything her friends were saying, and it took any of them a couple of tries anytime they wanted to get her attention. Melinda didn’t mean to ignore her friends, but she was finding it hard to think about anything other than Phil. She had talked to him so much over the last few days, more than she ever talked to anyone. Their friendship meant more and more to Melinda every day, and she had to hope it meant the same to Phil too. Melinda constantly reminded herself that Phil was just her friend and that Phil had a skype date with Audrey, his _girlfriend_ , that weekend, but she couldn’t help it if there was maybe something else there too.

Melinda was still covering for Anne the following Monday, and she’d expected the usual phone call from Phil at the end of the day, but it never came. Several days passed in the same fashion, and Melinda grew concerned. What if Phil had decided that he no longer wanted to be friends with her? Or, worse, what if she had she built their friendship into more than it was? Maybe she was just someone to talk to for Phil since Audrey was so busy out in Portland. Maybe he’d decided that he didn’t need her. 

Melinda distracted herself with work to keep herself from reading too far into things. She was supposed to be Melinda May, unflappable, a force to be reckoned with, not someone who started worrying when she didn’t hear from a friend for a couple days (never mind that Phil wasn’t _exactly_ just a friend). So every time she found herself thinking about Phil, she just threw herself into system updates and checking on clearances. 

By the end of her shift on Thursday, Melinda had only caught herself thinking about Phil about ten times that day (down from at least twenty the day before), but when a phone call came in just a few minutes before she was going to leave, her heart leapt. 

“Shield Communications.” 

“Melinda, hey.” 

“Phil!” Melinda was so relieved to hear his voice, but there was a sadness there that she hadn’t heard in weeks. “Phil, are you okay? I haven’t heard from you in a while.” 

Phil sighed. “Yeah, I’m sorry. I’ve just been in my head a lot. And I wanted to talk to you since you’re so good at helping me figure stuff out, but then I didn’t want to make a big deal out of nothing if it turned out to be nothing, but now I think there might actually be something, but-” 

“Hey Phil?” Melinda cut him off. “You’re rambling, and I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

Phil sighed again. “It’s Audrey. Again.” 

“Did your Skype date not go well?” Melinda asked, forcing herself to not sound too hopeful. 

“I don’t know,” Phil replied. 

Melinda narrowed her eyes. “You don’t know?”

“I mean it was fine,” Phil started to explain, clearly kind of confused himself. “We talked, we caught up, it was good. But at the same time, it _wasn’t_ good. Something felt weird, like we were missing something.” 

“Well Skype is different than talking in person,” Melinda offered. 

“I know,” Phil agreed, “I’ve thought about that. But we’ve Skyped plenty of times in the past, but this time felt different. Kind of empty. I don’t know.” 

Melinda thought back to conversations she had had with Andrew in the months leading up to the divorce. They talked about work, they exchanged thoughts about the news; everything seemed fine on the surface but underneath there was nothing. Empty, just like Phil said. 

“I know what that feels like.” 

“What should I do, Melinda?” Phil asked. He sounded defeated and broken. 

Melinda wasn’t one for hugs, but if she’d been with Phil at that moment she would have given him one in a heartbeat. 

“I don’t know, Phil,” she said softly. “It all depends how much you want to make things work. There are times like these in every relationship, but it all comes back to how much effort you’re willing to put in, and if you think that effort’s going to be worth it in the end.” 

Phil was silent for a moment. “Can I ask you a personal question, Melinda?” Phil said finally. 

“Depends how personal,” Melinda replied cautiously. 

“What happened with you and Andrew?” Phil said, hesitant. “It sounds like you guys were great together; you had your business and the same interests and everything, but it didn’t work out.” 

Melinda said nothing. She wasn’t quite sure how to answer Phil, if she even could. 

“I’m sorry,” Phil said quickly. “I overstepped my boundaries. Don’t-” 

“No, Phil, it’s okay,” Melinda interrupted him. “I don’t mind telling you.” She didn’t mention that this was something that she never talked about to _anyone_ , though she had a feeling Phil already knew that. 

She took a deep breath. “Andrew and I were married for a year or two before we founded our firm, and then for a few years all we really focused on was the business. We took vacations here and there, of course, but the firm was our project, and even though it was stressful, we both loved working on it. We got to be together, but there was enough distance between our jobs that we didn’t smother each other.” Melinda smiled to herself for a moment, thinking of those happy years when she and Andrew would come home together, both tired but pleased with their work, Andrew chatting about meetings with investors while Melinda bragged about her new team of young employees. They would make dinner together and then curl up in front of the TV. Things were exciting but peaceful at the same time. Those had been the best years of Melinda’s life. 

“But after a few years the start-up was solid, and we’d fallen into a sort of monotony,” Melinda continued, her smile quickly fading, “and both of us wanted something new. So we decided to have a baby.” Melinda took a deep breath. “But it didn’t happen. We tried for a year and nothing. Andrew wanted to look into fertility tests and all that, but I started thinking more and more often that even if we did have a baby, that wouldn’t make everything okay again.” 

Melinda stopped, remembering vividly the day that she realized that she might not want her life anymore. “I loved Andrew, and the time we’d spent working on our business together meant so much to me, but for a full year all we’d thought about was this hypothetical baby, and it felt like we lost each other along the way… and it hurt.” Melinda had barely let herself think about Andrew and everything that had led up to the divorce since she had said goodbye to Andrew a few months ago, so actually saying the words out loud was painful. She was reliving the worst part of her life, but at the same time, actually saying the words, explaining what she had felt to another person, to a friend, to _Phil_ felt almost cathartic. Yes, she had hurt, but she was miles away from there now. She was in a much better place. 

That thought gave her the strength to continue. “But one day I realized that I didn’t mind that I’d lost him. It was easier to let Andrew go and move on than it was to try to pick up the pieces of our old life and try to fit them back together. I know I could have if I tried… but I just didn’t have the energy, and I didn’t care enough. Andrew got us to go to couple’s counseling at the end, but it wasn’t enough. I loved what we’d done together, but I couldn’t be who Andrew needed me to be. I was tired and depressed, and just having to exist in our house pretending everything was fine was too hard. I hated feeling so empty and alone, and I didn’t want to make the effort to let Andrew try to help. It was just… too much.” 

That was all Melinda could say. The action of leaving Andrew _had_ helped a bit; she had been less sad, or at least sad for different reasons after she moved out. There definitely wasn’t as much pressure to act like everything was okay once she was gone, and she was able to just exist without worrying about consequences. If she was honest, she had stopped letting herself really feel _anything_ after she left. She wasn’t as sad, but she didn’t ever feel happy either. She’d just let everything go, not just Andrew. She’d almost lost her friends, the pride she took in her work, the little things that just slipped through the cracks. She’d been so alone… before Phil. Before he’d helped bring her back, even if he didn’t really know how much he had done. 

“Melinda, I’m so sorry,” Phil’s voice came from her headset. “I can’t even imagine how hard that must have been for you. I don’t know what to say. You’re… you’re the strongest person I know.” 

The smallest of smiles appeared on Melinda’s face. “Thanks, Phil.”

“And even after all of that you still helped me,” Phil continued almost reverentially. 

“A lot of the time it’s easier to help someone else than it is to help yourself,” Melinda offered. 

“Still, that’s not easy, and I’m so grateful to you, even more than I already was.” Phil sighed. “And now I feel like a crappy friend for complaining about Audrey when you’ve been through so much worse than that.” 

“Don’t make this into a contest, Phil,” Melinda replied seriously. “I know how hard everything with Audrey has been for you, and feeling unsure about your relationship now on top of everything else sucks too.” Melinda sighed. “And it’s not like everything with Andrew and me happened all at once; it was a gradual thing. So whether this is the end of things with Audrey or this is just a little blip in your relationship, it’s probably good for you to talk about it.” Melinda looked down at her hands, her left ring finger empty. “Now, after everything, I wish I’d reached out to my friends more when it was happening to me,” she said finally, speaking more to herself than to Phil. 

Neither of them said anything for a moment. 

“I’m glad you’re reaching out now,” came Phil’s voice from her headset, small but so kind. 

“Yeah, me too,” Melinda agreed softly. 

Silence spread between them again. 

“I think I’m going to go see Audrey this weekend,” Phil said finally with a deep breath. “ I’ll figure out if this _is_ just a bump in the road or if the bad feeling in my gut is right about this.” 

“That’s a good idea, Phil,” Melinda said soothingly. 

“If I end up breaking things off with her, I’ll be such a jerk though.” Phil groaned. “I was so insistent on us giving this whole thing another try, but if I end things now then Audrey was right the first time, and I put us through all of that for nothing. Whatever happens, I don’t want her to hate me.” 

Melinda almost smiled at that. “You know, even if you guys do break up, I heard how happy you’ve been for the past few weeks, and if Audrey was even half as happy as you were then I think it was worth it. Any bit of happiness is worth it.” That was something Melinda knew well. 

Phil seemed to understand her. “I can’t imagine what I did before I had you, Melinda.”

Melinda smiled slightly. “I’m sure you managed without me just fine.” 

Phil laughed. “Again, you overestimate me.” 

“Maybe.”

“Well I’ll call you next week then, let you know how it goes,” Phil said finally. 

“Anne’s back next week though, so you won’t have your direct line of communication,” Melinda reminded him. 

“Damn.” Phil seemed genuinely upset by Melinda’s impending return to her actual position. “Well, we’ll just have to go back to the old way, then.” 

Melinda gave a small laugh. “I guess so.” 

“Thank you for… everything, Melinda,” Phil said finally. “Truly.” 

“It’s nothing,” Melinda waved away Phil’s thanks. “Good luck, Phil. However it goes, good luck.” 

“Thanks, Melinda. I’m really glad to have you on my side.”

“Happy to be there. Bye Phil.” 

“By Melinda.” 

As expected, Melinda didn’t hear from Phil the next day, though he was never far from her thoughts. She drove up to visit her mother for the weekend, which ended up being a much more relaxing experience than her last trip here, immediately after the divorce, had been. But even as she caught up with her mom and helped her in the garden, Melinda could only think about Phil and wonder what was happening in Portland. 

She knew what she wanted the outcome of Phil’s trip to be, but she wouldn’t allow herself to really think it. _Whatever’s best for Phil,_ she told herself over and over, _that’s what this is about. I just care about Phil’s happiness, not any impossible fantasies about a man I’ve never actually met._  

But Melinda couldn’t help it. In spite of Audrey and in spite of everything that she had told herself, Melinda had to finally admit that she _liked_ Phil. How could she not? He was too funny, too sweet, too kind, too _good_ for her not to have some kind of beyond-friendship feelings for him. And even the knowledge that he could very well be fixing things with his girlfriend couldn’t stop Melinda from thinking about him. She wanted to tell him about her day and see him smile and laugh as she teased him. Just seeing his face would be enough. She was sure his company picture didn’t do him justice. 

But all she could do was hope that things wouldn’t work out with Audrey and that Phil would be happy with that outcome this time. She would just have to wait and see.


	7. It just wasn't real

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a big one guys, lots of important stuff. I hope I've done it all justice, and I really really hope you all like it!!
> 
> As always, thank you guys so much for reading and for leaving comments. You all really make the work on this worth it <3
> 
> Enjoy!

But Phil didn’t get in touch with Melinda the next week. Or the week after. 

Melinda tried to rationalize Phil’s disappearance, but no matter which way she thought about it, it didn’t make sense. 

If Phil and Audrey were still together, he didn’t really _need_ to talk to Melinda, but she knew how happy he’d been when everything had worked out a few weeks before, so she couldn’t imagine him passing up an opportunity to tell her how excited he was. 

But if Phil and Audrey had broken up, Melinda was sure he would have come to her for advice on how to deal with everything. Even if she didn’t have anything helpful to say, she could have at least made him laugh. 

Melinda let herself be a little hopeful that Phil was no longer romantically attached to Audrey, but she really just missed him. She’d gotten so used to talking to him in the past few weeks that this lengthy absence (longer than she’d ever gone without talking to him since that first day when Phil misdialed Audrey’s number) felt especially hard. She just wanted to hear his voice and know that everything was okay. 

“May, I know you hate this kind of thing, but you have to come to the company’s 50th anniversary party,” Hunter pleaded with her over lunch two weeks after she had last spoken to Phil. “It’ll be fun!”

“Forced socializing with people I don’t know isn’t my idea of fun, Hunter,” she replied and took a bite of her sandwich. “Besides, I’ve barely been here two months; I don’t really feel all that attached.”

Hunter sighed. “Okay look, I want you to meet my girlfriend.”

Melinda looked up at Hunter in surprise. This was new. “Really?” 

Hunter nodded. “Yeah. It’s getting pretty serious, and I think you’d get along.” 

Melinda thought it over for a moment. There was no way around it; she _had_ to meet Hunter’s girlfriend. Melinda sighed. “Fine, I’ll go. But _only_ because I know the others would kill me if I passed up a chance to meet your mystery girl,” she added quickly so Hunter would know that this was about the rest of their friends and certainly not her own desire to meet Hunter’s girlfriend (though Melinda _was_ more than a little bit curious about what woman would put up with Hunter).

“Great!” Hunter held up a hand for a high-five but quickly retracted it when she glared at him.

“You know your mystery exec will probably be there too,” Hunter added after a moment. 

Melinda glared at him again. 

She’d already realized that since the party for the 50th anniversary of the Shield Corporation was indeed for the entire company, from the highest management positions down to the lowest interns, there was a good chance Phil would be there. But the odds of running into him, especially since he still didn’t know what she looked like, were slim, and since he hadn’t gotten in touch in two weeks, it seemed like he didn’t want to see her at all. All she could really hope for was a glimpse of him in person across the crowded lobby, just to see that he was okay. That would have to be enough. 

Despite Melinda’s genuine interest in Hunter’s girlfriend, Hunter still had to practically drag her down to the party the next day. By the time they reached the lobby, the room was already filled with chatty, cheery people that Melinda had never seen in her life and had no desire to see ever again. 

“Come on,” Hunter grabbed her arm. “She said she’s over by the offices in the back.” 

Hunter led her through the maze of people and past a buffet to a quieter area of the first floor. A tall, blonde woman in a group of well-dressed business people spotted them, and quickly excused herself.

“Hey babe,” Hunter greeted the woman with a kiss. 

The woman was very pretty, and Melinda found that she liked her immediately as she made fun of Hunter’s tie while attaching herself to his side.

“May, this is Bobbi Morse,” he introduced. “Bobbi, this is my good friend Melinda May.”

Bobbi… Melinda had heard that name before. Was Hunter’s girlfriend _Phil’s_ assistant? 

Bobbi seemed to be having her own revelation. 

“You’re Melinda?” 

“You’re Phil’s assistant?” 

Melinda and Bobbi both started laughing. 

“My goodness, Coulson’s mentioned you to me more than a couple times,” Bobbi said, grinning widely. “I had no idea you were Lance’s friend!” 

“Phil told me about you too,” Melinda replied. “He said you were brilliant but unsympathetic.” 

Bobbi laughed again. 

“Wait, what?” Hunter was looking between the two women in confusion.

Before Bobbi could explain, someone caught her eye over Melinda’s shoulder.

“Mr. Coulson! There’s someone you need to meet!” 

Melinda could only stare at Bobbi in shock, but Bobbi just smiled in return, gesturing for her boss to come join them. 

And suddenly there he was. Phil Coulson. In the flesh. 

He was about as tall as she’d expected, and the rest of his physique was as attractive as Melinda had found his face all those weeks ago. But it was his good-natured smile at his assistant that took Melinda’s breath away. It lit up his entire face in a way that Melinda had only dreamed about, extending up to his eyes and shining on anyone whose gaze he happened to meet. Melinda fell a little more in love in an instant. 

“Mr. Coulson, this is my boyfriend Lance Hunter, and I think you know Melinda May.” 

Phil turned to her instantly, and Melinda saw a shocked expression that echoed precisely how she felt. 

“Melinda?” Phil asked tentatively. 

Melinda would have known that voice anywhere. 

She managed a small smile. “Hey, Phil. Nice to finally meet you.”

Phil inhaled quickly as though he had forgotten to breathe. “Wow… I just… Wow.” 

She tried to keep herself from blushing as his eyes flicked over her.

If he was checking her out did that mean things were over with Audrey? Or was it that she just looked different from what Phil had expected? Melinda didn’t know what to think; it was all too overwhelming. 

“Can I give you a hug?” Phil asked, almost breathless, opening his arms. “I feel like a handshake’s a little informal at this point.” 

Melinda’s smile widened, and she nodded her assent. 

Phil gathered her into his arms as though they were old friends… or something more than that. 

Melinda exhaled deeply and sank into him, letting her eyes drop closed. Being held by Phil was better than anything she’d ever imagined. 

“I can’t believe it’s you,” Phil whispered into her hair. 

Melinda just pulled him closer. 

“What the bloody hell?” Hunter’s voice finally pulled them apart. 

He was gesturing at Melinda and Phil, evidently furious. “You won’t even hug me, and we’ve been friends for _years_!” 

“To be fair, Lance,” Bobbi interjected, “I don’t think _I’d_ hug you if we weren’t dating.” 

Melinda ducked her head so Hunter wouldn’t see her laugh. 

When she looked back up, Phil was staring at her as though she’d done something miraculous. 

“What?” she asked him, confused. 

Phil just smiled that beautiful smile that reached deep into his _very_ blue eyes and shook his head. “For all the times I’ve heard you laugh, I’ve never seen it in person before.”

Hunter made a sound that was almost a scoff, but Bobbi kicked him in the leg to silence him. Immediately Melinda liked Bobbi even more. 

“Wait, so your friend Hunter is Bobbi’s boyfriend Lance?” Phil asked, trying to puzzle together the group he’d walked into.

Melinda nodded. “Apparently so. I didn’t know anyone called him Lance.” 

Bobbi grinned. “He doesn’t like it, so…” 

Melinda laughed appreciatively. “Oh, the rest of the gang’s going to love you.” 

Bobbi beamed at her, but then looked confused for a moment. “If you knew my name how come you didn’t realize I was Lance’s girlfriend?”

“Hunter never told us your name, and he even had Mack sworn to secrecy after he met you. He didn’t want us looking you up.” 

Bobbi smacked her boyfriend’s arm. “You know that’s creepy right?” 

Hunter held up his hands to defend himself. “I just didn’t want you all ganging up on me, like you’re doing now.” His brow furrowed. “And you never told me your boss was named Phil, you just call him Coulson all the time. If I’d have known that May’s mystery exec was your boss…”

“Mystery exec?” Phil raised his eyebrows at Melinda. 

She felt herself starting to blush. “I just mentioned to my friends that you were the reason I went out with them the other week, and Hunter’s been bugging me about you ever since, listening in on our conversations and everything.” 

“Have not!” Hunter objected immediately. 

“How did you know his name was Phil then?” Melinda asked, staring him down. 

Hunter looked around for someone to help him, but before he could fully panic, Phil interrupted their exchange with a laugh. 

Melinda looked up at Phil curiously. 

“‘Grown men shudder under my gaze,’” Phil quoted her words from a few weeks ago back to her with a grin. “Just as threatening as you said you were.” 

Melinda shot a glare at him, but Phil just laughed. 

“Won’t work on me,” he said, still grinning. “You might be some kind of badass, but I know you’re a softie.” 

Melinda couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face. 

“Who even _are_ you?” Hunter asked her incredulously. 

Melinda ignored him in favor of watching Phil laugh. She’d already determined that Phil’s laughter was one of her favorite sounds, but she found that she liked the sight just as much.

Melinda finally pulled herself away from staring at Phil to address Hunter’s girlfriend. 

"So how did you end up with this guy, Bobbi?” Melinda gestured at the annoyed-looking man beside her.

Bobbi offered Hunter a soft smile, one that told him that any teasing she’d inflicted on him was done out of love. 

While messing with Hunter was one of Melinda’s favorite pastimes, she had to admit that he and Bobbi did look _really_ sweet together. 

As Bobbi recounted how she and Hunter had met on her first day working at Shield (a very cute story involving Hunter running into a doorframe because he was distracted by Bobbi and him helping her figure out how to use the fancy copier up by the R&D offices), Melinda found herself constantly drawn to Phil. His hand was so close to hers as he stood next to her, and every time she glanced up at him, she found him staring back at her with a small smile on his face, looking as though he couldn’t believe she was actually real.

The group talked together for a while longer, Melinda bullying Hunter into inviting Bobbi to brunch with their friends the next day so everyone could finally meet her, but Melinda really just wanted to talk to Phil alone, for real this time. 

“Well let’s go grab some food, Hunter,” Bobbi said eventually, tossing her boss a knowing smile that he returned sheepishly. 

Hunter, for his part, smirked at Melinda. “Yeah, you two can have some alone time.” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. 

Melinda rolled her eyes and turned her back on her friend. 

Phil laughed. “As much as you complain about him, I really like Hunter,” he said as the other man followed Bobbi away into the crowd. 

Melinda smirked slightly. “Yeah, he’s actually a pretty good guy, once you get past all of the whatever he is.” She gestured vaguely at Hunter’s retreating back. 

Phil grinned. “I can see that.” He looked over in the direction opposite the crowd of people and gestured at a bench off in an empty corner of the floor. “You want to sit and catch up?” 

Melinda nodded, but raised her eyebrows as they walked over and sat down. “You say ‘catch up’ like we’re old friends who haven’t seen each other for a while, not…” She paused, not quite sure what to call her and Phil. “Whatever we are,” she finished lamely. 

Phil glanced sideways at her. “Whatever we are?”

Melinda didn’t clarify her comment. 

“I feel like I know you so well, but at the same time…” Phil trailed off, clearly not sure quite how to say what he wanted to say either. “You always said that real life was different than just talking on the phone,” he added finally. 

Melinda stared back at him thoughtfully. “I did say that, didn’t I? Honestly, I don’t think this feels all that different.” 

Phil sat back on the bench, hands folded in front of him, looking both curious and amused. “How so?” 

Melinda smiled at him. He was truly charming in person, even more so than he was on the phone. “Well, we’ve already gone through breakups and deep emotional traumas,” Melinda said seriously with just a hint of a smile in her eyes. “And we know all about each other’s jobs and friends and all of that, so I feel like I could tell you about something mundane, like gardening with my mother a couple weeks ago, and you know enough about me already that it would be normal.” 

“Absolutely,” Phil agreed immediately. “Did you have a nice trip to Pennsylvania?” 

Melinda couldn’t help the smile that appeared on her face as Phil not only remembered where her mother lived but also seemed genuinely interested in her trip.

“It was really nice,” Melinda replied, still smiling. “Relaxing, and nice to spend time with my mom without anything hanging over my head.” 

Phil nodded, clearly remembering that Melinda had last visited her mom after her and Andrew’s divorce.

“I can think of a few differences between this and our phone calls, though,” Phil said after a moment. 

Melinda raised her eyebrows in reply. 

“Well for one, you’re much less talkative in person,” Phil said, amusement still plain on his face. “But I still feel like I know exactly what you’re thinking.” 

Melinda stared blankly at him. 

“See right now you’re thinking that there’s no way I can know what you’re thinking because you do that no-expression thing.” He gestured at her face with a grin. 

Melinda blinked at him in surprise, making him laugh.

“I can read you like a book, Melinda May,” Phil said. His words had been teasing, but there was a seriousness behind them that made Melinda stop short. There was something floating between them, something beyond humor and friendship. Something deeper. 

“I also can’t hide any tears from you if I start crying here,” Phil added to diffuse the tension between them.

Melinda chuckled in spite of herself. “You were only ever crying in one phone call, and you really weren’t hiding it.”

Phil raised his eyebrows mysteriously. “Only one phone call that you know of.” 

Melinda rolled her eyes. “That’s a pretty sad thing to brag about, Phil.” 

Phil broke and started laughing, and Melinda joined in. 

Phil was right, of course; this wasn’t exactly the same as their phone calls. The biggest difference for Melinda was Phil’s smile and the way he stared at her as though he had never seen anything like her before. But there was also something unspoken and unfamiliar hanging in the air, and no amount of silly teasing or laughter was going to make it disappear. 

“So what have you been up to?” Melinda asked after a moment. She tried to keep her words light and casual, but the tension between them was certainly connected to the fact that Phil had been out of touch for two weeks with no explanation. 

Phil sighed deeply and ran a hand through his hair. 

“Is everything okay, Phil?” Melinda placed a hand on his upper arm in an attempt to comfort him. 

Phil finally looked over at her. “Audrey and I broke up,” he said in a low voice. “For good this time.” 

It took every ounce of self-control Melinda possessed to keep herself from smiling at the news that Phil Coulson was no longer romantically attached to anyone. 

“Oh I’m sorry, Phil,” she said, genuinely sorry that Phil had had to go through a break up, even if the end result was something that she was pleased about.

Phil shrugged and offered her a half smile. “It’s okay. I mean, it’s for the best. Going to Portland just confirmed it; Audrey was right to break it off in the first place, and as happy as I was when we were back together, I was forcing it too much. It shouldn’t have to be like that. Like you said, sometimes it’s too hard to put the pieces back together.” 

Melinda removed her hand from Phil’s arm and took his hand instead. “Still hurts though, right?” 

Phil nodded. “Still hurts.” 

Melinda stared at him for a moment, trying very hard to ignore that Phil had unconsciously started running his thumb lightly over hers. 

“Why didn’t you try to reach me afterward?” Melinda asked. This was the question that had been bothering her most for the past two weeks. In no scenario she had thought of for what happened in Portland had it made sense for Phil not to contact her for two weeks, especially in light of how clearly happy Phil was to see her now. 

Phil didn’t respond immediately. “I… I think I have a reason,” he said finally, “but I don’t quite know how to say it yet.” 

Melinda furrowed her brow, not understanding what Phil meant, but not wanting to push him either. 

When he didn’t elaborate any further, Melinda sighed and decided she’d ask him again later.

She stood up, not missing the pained look in Phil’s eyes at their momentary separation. 

“Want to go for a walk?” she asked. 

Phil immediately looked relieved, and he nodded and stood up beside her. 

Melinda expected him to drop her hand as they walked back toward the party, but if anything he held on tighter. 

Still, Melinda didn’t really want to be around people, so she tugged Phil through a door to a stairwell instead.

Phil raised his eyebrows, but Melinda just smiled and led him up the stairs. 

They didn’t speak as they slowly made their way up two flights. Melinda was so used to her entire relationship with Phil existing through his voice on the other end of a phone, but here he was, silent at her side with his hand in hers. Their smiles somehow said enough for both of them. 

They finally arrived at their destination, the Communications Department, empty except one worker in a cubicle at the far end who was keeping an eye on everything while the company was at the party. 

“Here’s my cubicle,” Melinda said as they reached her desk. “Hunter’s is right next door.” 

Phil glanced in Hunter’s before looking back in hers. “Hunter’s not one for organization is he?” 

Melinda laughed and was pleased to see that her laughter alone caused a wide smile to spread across Phil’s face. What she wouldn’t give to make him smile like that all the time… 

Phil finally let go of her hand to enter her cubicle properly and seat himself at her desk. He swiveled to face her, clearly amusing himself. 

“So this is where you called me that first time?” he asked with a smile that Melinda thought was frankly too adorable to be allowed. 

Melinda nodded. “Yeah, right there.” 

Phil turned back around, seeming to want to get a sense of what Melinda’s life was like in the Comms department. 

“You might call that our first date,” Phil said as he completed his circle and returned to face Melinda. 

Melinda’s heart leapt at Phil’s words. If that was a date then maybe… 

“If that’s the quality of your first dates, Phil, it’s a wonder I came back for a second,” Melinda replied in as even a tone as she could with her heart beating so fast in her chest. “You tried and failed to order Chinese food, and we just talked about our exes.” 

Phil stood up and took her hand again. “Then we’ll just have to do better next time, won’t we?” he said, almost smirking, as he led her down the corridor and through another to an elevator. 

Melinda didn’t trust herself to speak at all this time. 

“You’re lucky I know this building really well, or we’d be lost already,” Phil said conversationally, as though he hadn’t just almost asked her out. “Half of the offices look the same.” 

Melinda rolled her eyes at Phil’s bragging as the doors opened. “Oh, what would I do without you,” she said sarcastically. 

“Hey!” Phil replied, acting offended, but he didn’t defend himself and instead led her inside, scanned his company keycard, and pressed the button for the 7th floor. 

“You didn’t need to go back to the party, did you?” Phil asked as the elevator started moving. 

Melinda let out a short laugh. “I didn’t need to go there in the first place. I wouldn’t have gone at all if Hunter hadn’t promised I’d meet his mystery girlfriend.” 

“And there was nothing else of interest at the party?” Phil asked coyly. 

“Don’t go fishing for compliments, Phil,” Melinda replied with a smile to make sure he knew she was just teasing. “It’s not attractive.” 

Phil raised his eyebrows. “I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.” 

The elevator reached the 7th floor, and Phil again led the way down several admittedly identical-looking corridors until they reached an open balcony. Melinda could hear a rumble of conversation mixed with music, and she found that they were looking down onto the lobby area where the anniversary party was still in full swing. 

“My office is just up here,” Phil said inclining his head toward a glass-walled area to his left. 

“Much nicer spot that we have for Comms, that’s for sure,” Melinda said, looking around at all the openness as she followed Phil to his office. Everything was glass and there were large windows in the front face of the building that would certainly let in natural light during the daytime. “I hardly ever get to see outside of my cubicle, let alone look at the sun.”

Phil smiled apologetically. “Perks of upper management I guess.” He pointed to a desk outside a glass-walled office. “That’s Bobbi’s.” 

Melinda nodded, instantly understanding why Hunter would prefer to spend time up here with sunlight and open spaces than down in their cramped (though not _bad_ by any means) office. 

“And this is mine.” Phil opened his door with a keycard and flicked on the lights. 

It was exactly the office she’d always imagined Phil had: large desk, plenty of filing cabinets, comfortable chairs for visitors, and even a sofa in one corner. 

Melinda released Phil’s hand to go look around. “If I knew I could have had an office this nice I would have left tech security years ago,” Melinda said as she examined Phil’s bookcase, paying particular attention to a photograph of a young Phil and two people she assumed were his parents and another of Phil, closer to the age he was now, with a group of mostly men who Melinda assumed were his Shield friends. 

“Well, of course you’re welcome to visit as often as you’d like.” Phil replied. 

Melinda turned around to see that Phil had moved closer to her. 

“In fact you’re encouraged to visit.” 

Melinda blushed but held Phil’s gaze. 

The blaring pop music that had been drifting up from the first floor through Phil’s open door changed suddenly, prompting Phil to take his eyes off her for a moment as he tried to make out the words. 

His face broke into a smile as he realized what they were playing. “Bobbi really likes this song,” he said. “Apparently she has a soft spot for the ‘70s.” 

Melinda recognized the song too, the same one Hunter had been blasting through his headset the day she had agreed to go out for drinks with him and their other friends. “Hunter likes this one too, actually. I’d always thought of him as a rap guy, but I guess there’s more to him than meets the eye.” 

Phil just stared at her. Then he held out his hand. “Care to dance?” 

Melinda didn’t reply, but took his hand and curled her other hand around his neck. Phil’s arm wrapped around her waist, and they began to sway to the music. 

She closed her eyes and rested her head against Phil’s chest, inhaling his cologne deeply and straining her ears to hear the words drifting up from the party. 

_Operator, well could you help me place this call?_  
_Well, I can’t read the number that you just gave me._  
_There’s something in my eyes, you know it happens every time  
_ _I think about a love that I thought would save me._

“You know this song reminds me of you,” Phil said softly, Melinda able to feel the rumble of his words from where she was pressed against him. 

She leaned back to look up at him. “Why?” she asked him curiously, remembering that weeks ago this song had briefly reminded her of Phil. 

“Well you’re kind of an operator of sorts,” Phil replied with a playful smile. “I mean it would be hard to put ‘Communications Security Technician’ in a song; ‘Operator’ is more poetic. But, you know, it’s a song about a guy trying to get in touch with an ex-girlfriend and baring his soul to this poor operator, or comms tech for our purposes, who’s just trying to do their job… just like you were the first time we talked.” 

Melinda held him tighter as the final verse carried through the room. 

_Operator, well let’s forget about this call._  
_There’s no one there I really wanted to talk to._  
_Thank you for your time, oh you’ve been so much more than kind,  
_ _And you can keep the dime._

“It ends so sadly though,” Melinda said wistfully. “The guy just gives up and lets the girl go.” 

“See, I like to think that he realizes that he’s already talking to the woman he needs to be talking to.” 

Phil stared down at Melinda allowing the meaning of his words to wash over her. Gone was the teasing note in his words and behind his eyes; gone and replaced by something deeper. The tension that had been between them the entire night grew thicker. 

Melinda tilted her head up toward Phil, and he began to lean down to meet her. She forgot to breathe. All she could see was… 

“Phil?” 

Melinda and Phil separated marginally, their hands still clasped together and Phil’s arm around her waist, as they looked up at the door. 

A slightly disheveled, though still very pretty, dark-haired woman was standing there clutching a purse and an overnight bag. 

Melinda pulled her hand back, trying to create distance between her and Phil, even as his arm was still wrapped around her. There was only one person who this could be, and Melinda wasn’t ready for it. 

“Audrey?” 

That single word was enough for Melinda to pull away from Phil completely. 

_Oh no,_ Melinda thought, unable to breath again for a very different reason. 

It seemed Phil and Audrey’s story wasn’t over yet… and Melinda was right in the middle of it.


	8. That's not the way it feels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just going to apologize in advance here; this one's not a lot of fun. Most of this chapter wasn't in my original plan for this fic, but as I was writing, this arc ended up being really important to Melinda's story (even if it's almost unnecessarily sad). Even though Melinda's been doing a lot better with Phil and her friends in her life, she still hasn't dealt with a lot of stuff, so that's where this chapter comes from (and also I needed more May/Daisy friendship, so there's some of that here too). 
> 
> But I promise everything's going to be okay. :)
> 
> As always, thank you all so much for reading and leaving comments. They've really been such an important part of this fic for me, and I so appreciate all of you guys for that.
> 
> Enjoy!!

“Audrey, what are you doing here?” Phil asked, his eyes glued to the woman at the door. 

Audrey’s eyes flitted back and forth between Phil and Melinda. “I wanted to come talk in person,” she said slowly, as though she was regretting her decision. “In person always works better for us… but… um…” 

Melinda knew she had to leave. She was intruding on something much bigger than her. Whatever Phil had almost just said to her, it didn’t matter. This other woman obviously still loved Phil, and Melinda couldn’t be here for this. 

Melinda started to move to the door, but Phil took his eyes off Audrey to look at her. 

“Melinda,” he said pleadingly, pain and confusion clear behind his eyes. 

Melinda offered him the smallest of smiles but shook her head and slipped out past Audrey, closing the door behind her to give her friend and his ex-girlfriend privacy. 

But Melinda could still hear their conversation through the closed door. 

“Is this why you broke up with me?” Audrey’s voice wasn’t loud, but the accusation and hurt were plain in her words. “Because you already had someone else back here? Were you cheating on me, Phil?” 

“No, no, of course not, Audrey,” Melinda heard Phil placate his ex-girlfriend. “Melinda… she was just a friend.” 

The word was a dagger in Melinda’s heart. The happy dream that she’d been living in for the past couple hours with Phil was over. A small voice in her head tried to argue that this wasn’t the end, that Phil had held her hand all night and almost kissed her, and that Phil still had feelings for her regardless of Audrey, but the rest of Melinda overruled it. 

She took a shuddering breath and walked away as quickly as she could, not sure where she was going or even how to get down from the 7th floor offices, but just knowing she needed to get away from this place, away from Phil. 

Now that she was alone, she could finally think clearly without Phil clouding her judgment. Of course Phil didn’t really love her. He couldn’t. It was just a passing infatuation. It was him momentarily misinterpreting his friendship with her as something more than that. It was him acting on impulse, him getting carried away now that they had finally met. Melinda had been his friend, and it was natural for him to want some kind of rebound after Audrey. If Phil had actually had feelings for her, beyond tonight’s dalliance, he would have called her or sought her out before this, certainly. So it was like he’d told Audrey, she was a friend. He’d gotten caught up in the moment, and Melinda was just a friend. 

Phil and Audrey had history; they had so much to lose in separating from each other. All Melinda and Phil had were a few phone calls and this wonderful evening. Even if by some ridiculous chance Phil actually had some genuine feelings for Melinda, Audrey was really worth fighting for so much more than Melinda was. 

Melinda finally found a stairwell, and as soon as the door closed behind her, she sank down along the concrete wall and let herself cry. 

How had she been so stupid? She’d let herself fall in love with a man she’d never met, a man who had a girlfriend. And even now that she’d met him and he _didn’t_ have a girlfriend, she’d been wrong to let it go so far. Phil and Audrey had broken up less than two weeks ago, too short a time for Phil to really be sure that he didn’t want to go back to her. It wasn’t fair of Melinda to expect anything from him. Of course he should be with Audrey. Of course. Of course. 

Melinda recalled her very first conversation with Phil, in which he’d repeated over and over that he was fine, commenting that repeating something was supposed to make you believe it. 

Here, Melinda’s trouble wasn’t that she didn’t believe Phil should be with Audrey, but that the thought was just so painful. 

Melinda realized that there was a chance Phil could come looking for her, so she decided she had to move. She wiped away her tears on her sleeve and stood up, trying to make herself a little more presentable if she happened to run across any other employees, and she started down the stairs. 

She’d left her things at her desk in the Comms Department on the 3rd floor, but when she emerged from the stairwell, she found herself in an unfamiliar part of that floor by an office that she felt like she might have seen before, but she wasn’t sure. As she walked down a hallway into another almost identical office she realized that Phil had been right earlier: the offices all looked the same, and she was lost without his guidance. 

Melinda weaved her way through offices, wondering how the Shield building could possibly be this big before she realized that she had definitely gone in a circle and ended up back where she’d started. She almost fell apart again at that. 

Melinda knew this feeling. As her relationship with Andrew had been imploding, every little thing that went wrong in Melinda’s life, even if it was as simple as her misplacing a form or a bug infecting a client’s system, had the capacity to push her over the edge and leave her sobbing in her office after everyone else had gone home. To deal with everything last time, Melinda had closed herself off and stopped letting herself feel anything. She stopped falling apart over little things, but she also stopped seeking out things that made her smile. She pushed away her friends, and she was alone, no longer sad but also not happy. But Phil had brought her back. He’d made her smile and made her care with his witty comebacks and his personal brand of self-deprecation. He’d encouraged her to do things for herself, to let herself need other people for the first time in months. She’d opened herself up to him, and now this hurt so much more because of it. She’d been better off numb. It was better to feel nothing than it was to fall apart over something as stupid as being lost in her office building.

Melinda took a shaky breath and willed herself to save the breakdown for after she made it home. She walked through the office and turned down a different hallway this time, emerging in a corridor that she thought she might possibly have seen before. 

After a minute of walking she let out a sigh of relief as she recognized a doorway that she knew was just down the hallway from her office. 

Melinda crept in quietly, not wanting to have any contact with the single employee left in the department, who Melinda could see was playing solitaire on his computer. She grabbed her purse and jacket quickly and was about to leave when she heard Hunter and Bobbi’s voices in the hallway she was about to walk into. 

“Shit,” Melinda whispered to herself, passing the exit she had wanted to use in favor of the more distant exit on the other side of the office, but Hunter and Bobbi reached the room before she could make it out. Melinda ducked into an empty cubicle instead, cursing her friend’s always impeccable (and annoying) timing. 

“Huh, looks like they’re not here,” Melinda heard Hunter’s voice in the quiet office. 

“Must be in Coulson’s then,” Bobbi replied. “Our floor’s much nicer; I can see why you never brought me down here, Lance.” 

Hunter laughed. “I was only ever dating you for your office, you know.” 

Bobbi didn’t speak but Melinda heard noises that seemed to be a reply of a different kind.

“And for that,” Hunter’s voice came again, weaker this time. “I was dating you for that too.” 

Melinda cringed. She _really_ didn’t need to hear Hunter and Bobbi making out; she just wanted them to leave. 

“So, my place?” Bobbi suggested, and with a sound of agreement and some rustling that Melinda assumed was Hunter grabbing his own things, the pair finally left the office. 

Melinda waited a minute to make sure they were really gone and then got up and left herself through a different door, taking a different stairway that mercifully let out near a back exit that was far enough away from the lobby that she could only barely hear the low sounds of chatter as the anniversary party came to a close. 

She made it home as quickly and unassumingly as she could, keeping her head down on the Metro and willing herself not to start crying again. 

But soon as she reached the top of the steps to her apartment, unlocked the door, and closed it behind her, she let out the sob that she’d been holding back since she’d left the stairwell by Phil’s office. 

She was alone again. She was just Phil’s friend. She had been silly to hope for any more than that. 

And really wasn’t it better this way? Melinda was here crying over a guy she technically barely knew, while Audrey had taken action, the same grand gesture Phil had made when he and Audrey had gotten back together a month ago. Audrey would be able to make Phil happy. Melinda couldn’t even make _herself_ happy. 

Thoughts of Phil flooded her mind: Phil staring at her with that adoring smile for the entire night, his hand so perfectly placed in hers, teasing him and making him laugh, dancing in his office… his lips so close to hers. 

It had been so perfect, almost like a dream. And that’s what it was really, like she had lived someone else’s life for a night. _Audrey’s life,_ she thought to herself darkly. Did Audrey know how lucky she was to have that smile in her life? To see those eyes light up every time she spoke or smiled or even merely existed in his vicinity? 

_I just want Phil to be happy,_ Melinda told herself for probably the hundredth time that evening, but it still didn’t feel true. 

Melinda finally made herself stand up and get changed into sweatpants and a t-shirt before she grabbed leftovers from the fridge and switched on the TV. 

She ended up watching bad home improvement shows for the rest of the night, trying to distract herself from thoughts about Phil by forcing herself to care about the perfect little couples shopping for their dream homes and picking out counter tops and backsplashes. 

It didn’t really work; Phil was never far away in her thoughts, and the moments as they danced together played over and over on a loop in her head, always followed by Audrey’s entrance and Phil’s words “she was just a friend.” But eventually Melinda did drift off to sleep. 

She woke up early the next morning, her back stiff from sleeping on the sofa and the TV still on softly in the background.

Melinda clicked it off and used the bathroom before lying down on her bed and drifting off to sleep again, just needing to not think or feel anything. 

When she woke up again it was almost nine-thirty and a quick glance at her phone showed that she had more than a few unread text messages. 

Melinda knew the gang was supposed to meet for brunch at ten-thirty, but Hunter and Bobbi would be there, so Melinda knew she couldn’t go. 

She’d heard them in the Comms office last night looking for her, assuming she was with Phil up in his office. Her friend and his girlfriend had seen her and Phil together, their hug, their smiles; Melinda wouldn’t even have put it past Hunter to have been watching her and Phil holding hands before they went upstairs. Hunter could never just mind his own business. 

But because of that she couldn’t face them. She couldn’t pretend that everything was normal when they already knew something had changed. 

Melinda knew she should do something, anything, to take her mind off things. A voice, Phil’s voice, told her to seek out her friends, to lean on them for support, but Melinda blocked it out. She was feeling this vulnerable and alone because she’d let Phil into her life, because she let him get her to open up, so she just needed to stop feeling, to stop letting things affect her. She was Melinda May, unfeeling, uncaring. She didn’t need anyone’s help. She didn’t need to be happy. Being happy only left her open to being so much sadder in the future, and she didn’t need that. She’d survived without friends once; she could do it again. 

So she ignored her phone and lay back in bed, staring at the ceiling, not crying, not… anything. An hour passed. And then another. 

And then there was a knock on her door. 

Melinda didn’t move. 

The knock came again, more insistent. 

Melinda sat up but still didn’t leave her bed. 

A third knock, but this time Melinda could hear someone’s voice too. 

“May if you’re in there, you better open this door right this second.” 

It was Daisy. 

Melinda finally got up, knowing that her young friend wasn’t above breaking and entering. 

She opened the door and found Daisy, a bag bearing the logo of their favorite brunch place in her hand and a mixture of annoyance and concern on her face. 

“Thank God, May,” Daisy said, brushing past Melinda to come into her apartment before Melinda could ask her friend to leave. “Hunter and Bobbi kept saying that you were probably with Phil so I shouldn’t worry, but you weren’t answering any of my texts and something seemed weird, so I had to come check. I brought you food.” She held up the bag. 

Melinda tried to smile at her friend, but found she couldn’t quite manage it. “Thanks, Daisy,” she said instead, her voice quiet. 

Daisy sat down on a barstool, setting the bag of food on the counter. “So what’s going on, May?” she said, blunt as Daisy always was. “I can tell something’s wrong.” 

“I’m fine, Daisy,” Melinda countered, but she was betrayed by how broken her voice sounded. 

Daisy raised her eyebrows skeptically and looked around the apartment. “Well, you have a plate from last night out on the coffee table, and I _know_ you always do your dishes like annoyingly quickly, so there’s that. And also you don’t look like you showered this morning which means you didn’t run this morning and you _always_ run on the weekends if the weather’s nice. Plus your face is all red, and your eyes are puffy, and I haven’t seen you look like that in months, so spill it May.” 

“You should be a detective,” May deadpanned, but Daisy wouldn’t be deterred. 

“Don’t try to brush me off, May,” Daisy said, clearly upset. “Hunter was texting me and Lincoln all last night saying you’d finally met your mystery guy, and you guys were super into each other. And Lincoln and I weren’t sure if we should listen to him, because it’s Hunter who’s not the most reliable, but at brunch Bobbi was going on and on about how you guys just kept staring at each other and how you were holding hands, and she said she was almost 100% sure that he’d broken up with his West Coast girlfriend so-” 

Melinda had felt her unfeeling façade slipping away as Daisy recounted what she knew about Melinda and Phil’s wonderful evening together, but it completely fell apart at “West Coast girlfriend.” She let out a sob and sank down onto the barstool next to Daisy, her head in her hands. 

“Oh May.” Daisy reached out and rubbed her hand up and down Melinda’s arm trying to comfort her. “Come on, let’s go sit somewhere more comfortable, okay?” 

Daisy guided Melinda over to the sofa as Melinda tried and failed to regain her composure. Melinda was supposed to be done with this. She was supposed to have stopped herself from feeling anything about Phil anymore, and she was definitely not supposed to cry in front of anyone about it. 

Daisy sat there with her for a moment before she spoke again. “So he and his girlfriend were still together?” she asked hesitantly. 

Melinda shook her head, her breathing gradually returning to normal. 

“Then what happened?” 

“She came back,” Melinda said finally, speaking into her lap rather than to Daisy. “We’d had the best evening together. He just kept smiling at me, and he was so sweet and so cute, and we were dancing in his office, and then she came back out of nowhere.” 

“His ex-girlfriend?” Daisy asked. 

Melinda nodded. “Yeah. And I’m sure they’re back together by now. She’s… better for him.” Her voice broke. 

“Oh May.” Daisy put an arm around Melinda, and Melinda let her. “I’m so sorry.” 

The pair sat there together for a few minutes. Only small sniffles from Melinda broke the silence from time to time. 

“Why do you think Phil got back together with his girlfriend, May?” Daisy asked after a moment. “You don’t know for sure do you?” 

Melinda took a shuddering breath. “I mean he had to right? He flew across the country to get her back a month ago, so why wouldn’t it work for her now? They were together for a year. They have a relationship that’s worth fixing; Phil and I just had a few phone calls-” Seven to be exact. Melinda could remember every minute of each one of them, but she didn’t need to admit that to Daisy. “Plus a couple of hours at a company party,” she continued. “There’s no comparison.” 

Melinda took another breath, talking to herself now more than Daisy. “It’s for the best anyway. I could never be good for him. I wasn’t enough for Andrew, I could never be enough for someone as wonderful as Phil.”

Daisy pulled away from Melinda, and Melinda looked up. 

Daisy seemed almost angry. “Don’t you _dare_ say anything like that again, May,” Daisy practically yelled at her. “You’re not _enough_ for him? You’re fucking Melinda May, a total badass and a cyber security genius, but, more importantly, you’re the best person I know.” 

Melinda started to argue, but Daisy stopped her with a hand. 

“You’re kind and caring, and you’d do anything to help your friends,” Daisy said furiously. “You’ve been the best mentor I could have ever had, and you’re a _damn_ good friend.” Daisy took a deep breath. “Now I don’t know everything about how things ended with Andrew, and I don’t know if this Phil guy’s gonna turn out to be an asshole or if he’s actually in love with you, because nothing you’ve said to me has taken that possibility off the table, but I do know that it doesn’t matter whether or not you’re ‘enough’ for either of them, all that matters is that you are enough for _yourself._ And you are, May. You are so much more than enough for you.” Daisy pulled Melinda into a crushing hug. “And you are not going to slip away like you did last time,” she whispered as Melinda let herself be held by her young friend. “We’re getting through this together, okay?” 

Melinda didn’t reply, but she hugged Daisy back and that was enough. 

They stayed like that for a while, until Daisy pulled back and stood up. 

“I’m gonna warm up some food, and you go do whatever, and then we’re gonna sit around and watch movies for the rest of the day. Sound good?” 

Melinda offered her friend a small smile. “Thank you, Daisy.” 

Daisy beamed back at her. “Of course.” 

And with Daisy there, everything seemed a little bit easier. Melinda’s thoughts often strayed to Phil, but not always, and Daisy was good at bringing Melinda back to the present with an observation about whatever movie they were watching or inquiries about what Melinda wanted to do for dinner.

During the second movie in their marathon, Melinda noticed Daisy smiling at her phone much more often than was normal, and she suddenly remembered a detail from something that Daisy had said earlier, that Hunter had been texting her and Lincoln specifically, not her and the rest of their friends. 

“Daisy is something going on with you and Lincoln?” Melinda asked as Daisy smiled at her phone for at least the 10th time. 

Daisy looked up guiltily, but she also seemed excited as she nodded. “We had our first real date last night, just dinner, and we went to Mack’s afterward, but it was really _really_ great.” 

Melinda smiled, happier than she might admit to see her young friend so excited. “Just have to wait for Fitzsimmons then,” Melinda commented. 

But Daisy practically screamed in response. “Oh my God, you don’t know!” 

“What? Did something happen?” 

Daisy nodded frantically. “Since Lincoln and I were going out together and you and Hunter were busy, Fitz and Jemma were gonna go to Mack’s anyway and hang out with him or whatever. So Lincoln and I stopped by later to meet up with them, but when we got there Mack grabbed us and made us sit across the bar from where we usually are because Fitz and Jemma were sitting together in our booth holding hands, and Mack didn’t want us to stop them. But I _swear_ I saw them making out when we left. Lincoln dragged me away before I could _really_ see anything, but they showed up to brunch together today, which I know is normal, but they were _definitely_ still holding hands. Hunter was too busy showing off Bobbi to notice, and Lincoln, Mack, and I didn’t want to say anything, especially without you there, but I’m betting _anything_ that they spent the night together, and this nightmare is finally over!”

Melinda smiled even wider. “Thank God, it’s only been what, 5 years?”

“Yep,” Daisy affirmed, “and they’ve been best friends for even longer than that, so it’s actually worse.” 

“Good on Mack for making it happen,” Melinda added. 

Daisy nodded. “He’s way more subtle than the rest of us, it’s good it was him and not Hunter.” 

Melinda shuddered at the thought. 

“But Bobbi’s great,” Daisy added conversationally. 

Melinda nodded her agreement. “She really is. I hope they stay together. They seem good for each other.” 

Neither Melinda nor Daisy acknowledged the potential awkwardness of Bobbi being Phil’s assistant. 

They ordered Chinese food later and invited Jemma over, but Jemma said, very suspiciously, that she had “plans” (to which Daisy rolled her eyes and complained to Melinda for 20 minutes about how they were never going to see Jemma by herself ever again now that she was with Fitz). 

As it got later, Melinda ended up watching her friend sprawled on pillows on the floor, wrapped in a blanket, eating pretzels, and shouting at whatever blonde actress was on the screen that whatever the hunky dark-haired love interest had done to make her fall in love with him was actually kind of creepy. Daisy seemed content, but Melinda knew that right now her young friend could easily be back at Lincoln’s apartment cozied up with him not-watching a movie. Instead, Daisy had chosen to spend her entire Saturday here making sure Melinda was okay. Melinda didn’t feel she quite deserved that, but she was truly touched. 

“Daisy,” Melindaa said softly in a lull between her friend’s outbursts at the film. 

“Yeah May?” Daisy looked up at her, concern visible in her eyes even in the dark room. “You okay?” 

Melinda almost teared up at how much Daisy cared about her. She shook her head. “No, I just wanted to thank you for giving up your Saturday for me. It… it means a lot.” Melinda wasn’t one for expressing feelings or for long heartfelt conversations (though she acknowledged that she was more open to that sort of thing with Phil, a thought which made her heart hurt a little bit), but she needed to say something to her friend. 

And somehow it was enough. Daisy removed herself from her blanket cocoon to join Melinda on the sofa and hug her tightly.

“This is exactly where I want to be right now,” Daisy said simply, and Melinda, for once, just let herself believe that it was okay. 

She knew this loss would hurt for a while, just like Andrew had. But as sad as she was about Phil, she wouldn’t trade away the weeks of their friendship for anything. If she had helped him find love in Audrey, Phil had certainly helped her too. He’d encouraged Melinda to do things to make her happy, hell he’d given her a _reason_ to be happy for the first time in months. And it was because of him that she was even here with Daisy curled up beside her actually trying to deal with how sad she was to lose him instead of just pushing it deep down inside herself like she had done with everything after Andrew.

She remembered that little voice in her head after she left Phil’s office telling her that there was still a chance for them and Daisy’s comment that Phil hadn’t necessarily gotten back together with Audrey, and for a moment she wanted to hope, but she knew that it would more than likely lead to heartbreak when she found out she was wrong. She had to let it go… but it was Phil. How could she ever let him go? 

At least she knew now that even without Phil she’d be okay… she just kind of wished she could be okay _with_ Phil too.


	9. A love that will save me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been such a fun fic to write, and I'm so grateful to everyone who has read and enjoyed it and left comments and all that. You guys are seriously the best.
> 
> I've also sort of started a one- or two-shot of the last couple chapters of this from Coulson's POV, so that might be out sometime in the next week or so if you all are up for that too :)
> 
> I really hope you guys like this last part - it's way happier than the last one, I promise <3
> 
> Thank you all so much for staying with this over the past few weeks!!!
> 
> Enjoy!

Daisy spent the night at Melinda’s, but Melinda insisted she was fine the next morning and forced Daisy to leave and go meet Lincoln for lunch. 

And Melinda _was_ fine. After Daisy left, Melinda went jogging and grabbed a sandwich from a café on the corner. She cleaned the kitchen and the living room in the afternoon, and then called her mother to check in since they hadn’t talked since Melinda had visited two weeks ago. Melinda was sad, certainly, but she was okay. 

Daisy had asked if Melinda wanted to get dinner with whoever she could get to come with them, but Melinda declined in favor of another night in. She couldn’t quite face Hunter yet, but with a little more time and distance from Friday’s events she knew she’d be able to deal with everything. 

When Melinda arrived at work the next morning, however, Hunter was already there. Hunter _never_ got to work before her. His shifts usually started a little later for one thing, and even with that he often rolled in 5 minutes late (thought never more than 10, and he’d always stay late to make up for it, which Melinda begrudgingly liked about him). 

Melinda tensed as Hunter approached her, bracing herself for some kind of teasing or, if Daisy had contacted him yesterday to tell him what had happened, some very awkward attempts at Hunter being nice.

But all Hunter did was offer her a small smile and touch her arm gently. 

“If you need any help beating him up, I’ve got your back,” he said softly, his words just barely tinged with humor. 

Melinda almost smiled at that. “Thanks Hunter. But I think I’m okay.”

Hunter nodded seriously and retracted his hand. “Of course, I’d only slow you down.”

Melinda actually smiled this time and shoved him good-naturedly as she walked into her cubicle. “I’m not beating up anyone.”

Hunter shrugged. “Let’s not take it off the table though.” 

Melinda rolled her eyes, but flashed Hunter another small smile as he returned to his cubicle. 

Melinda breathed a sigh of relief as she sat down to get to work. She could do this. 

Bobbi met Melinda and Hunter for lunch, and she mercifully didn’t mention Phil besides saying in passing that she hadn’t had much to do that morning because she was supposed to get started on a new project but “her boss” (Melinda noticed she very carefully avoided saying “Phil” or “Coulson”) hadn’t given her the numbers she needed.

Melinda tried not to read too much into that little detail (maybe Phil was just busy with an important work assignment), but Melinda knew that Phil was very responsible and always got everything done in a timely fashion… unless he was distracted by something that affected him personally, such as his break up with Audrey. So Melinda’s best guess was that Phil was too happy to get work done because he was back with Audrey. Melinda saddened at the thought. 

Melinda knew that Bobbi could probably find out for sure what was going on with Phil if she asked her, but Melinda didn’t want someone else to have to hear officially that Phil had chosen another woman over her. It would be too humiliating.

She had barely gotten back to her cubicle after lunch, leaving a little early to give Hunter and Bobbi some privacy, when she received an alert… from Phil. 

Melinda felt okay doing work and spending time with her friends, and she could even mostly think about Phil without it outwardly affecting her, but talking to him? Melinda really wasn’t prepared for that right now. 

She turned around in her cubicle, frantically searching for something to help her, and she spotted Hunter walking by on his way back to work. 

“Hunter,” she hissed at him, gesturing for him to come inside. 

“What’s up, May?” he asked, his voice low. 

“Phil triggered an alert to try to get me to call him,” she said as evenly as she could manage, pointing to her computer screen. “Can I transfer it to you?” 

Instead of making fun of her or something equally unhelpful, Hunter immediately nodded, his face completely serious for once. “Absolutely, May, just send it over, and I’ll get him sorted.” 

“Thank you,” Melinda said, incredibly relieved. “I just… I can’t talk to him right now.” 

Hunter smiled at her sympathetically and nodded again before leaving and heading to his own cubicle. 

Melinda quickly transferred the alert to Hunter and sat back in her chair. Maybe she wasn’t quite as okay as she kept telling herself she was. 

But within a few minutes she was able to take a deep breath and go back to troubleshooting security updates, Phil (mostly) out of her mind for the moment. 

Phil tried again later that evening just before her shift ended, but Melinda transferred the alert to Hunter again, who tapped lightly on their shared cubicle wall to let her know that he was dealing with it. 

Melinda still didn’t feel like she was prepared for Phil telling her that he was back with Audrey, but ignoring this alert felt worse than the one earlier. Just before the end of her shift was when Phil had usually called her so they could trade stories or talk about their days. Even with how terrible thinking about Phil made her feel, she really missed him. 

She missed their back and forth and how comfortable he made her. She missed his stories about his friends, and she missed the feeling of having someone in her life that she could talk to about anything. She loved her friends – Daisy had been amazing over the weekend, and Hunter had been unexpectedly helpful today – but to them she was always more like a mentor, someone who might need help from time to time but who usually helped (or teased) them instead. Daisy and Fitzsimmons were only about 5 or 6 years out of college, and Hunter and Mack were only a handful of years older than that. With Phil there was more equality; they were both professionals in their own right with more life experiences than her younger friends. She’d forgotten how much she missed the kind of conversation that she’d had with Andrew, but Phil made her remember. She had fallen in love with Phil certainly, but she’d loved Phil as a friend first. 

And they’d ruined it with just one lovely evening and an almost kiss and the sudden reappearance of his ex… 

“Hey May?” Hunter’s voice pulled Melinda from her thoughts. 

Melinda turned around, schooling her features into her usual neutral mask.

“You ready to head out?” 

Again, Hunter had never left the office at the end of the day with Melinda before.

Melinda raised her eyebrows. “Don’t you have a girlfriend for that?”

Hunter grinned. “Bobbi got off at 5, and she had dinner plans with some friends, so we’re meeting up later.” 

Melinda nodded and stood up, starting to gather her things. 

She turned back to Hunter a minute later, and he ushered her out with his usual mix of sarcasm and cockiness that Melinda always found both annoying and endearing. 

The walk out of the office and down toward the Metro station was oddly pleasant. Hunter chatted freely about work and Bobbi, and Melinda was just grateful that even if she happened to run into Phil (which was unlikely since it had never happened before), she would have Hunter there as a buffer (or a shield to hide behind, though Hunter’s small stature would make that rather difficult… _Mack would work much better as a shield,_ Melinda mused to herself). 

She and Hunter lived in different directions from the office, so they had to separate in the station, but before Hunter could leave, Melinda grabbed his arm. 

Hunter looked almost scared by the uncharacteristic motion from Melinda.

“I just wanted to thank you for dealing with Phil today,” Melinda said quickly in response to the question she could see forming in Hunter’s mind. “Things are kind of rough right now and just… thanks,” she finished abruptly, letting go of Hunter’s arm and moving back from him. 

Hunter’s face broke into a wide grin. “Oh May, you do care!” he said with more than a hint of sarcasm, though Melinda could tell some of his excitement was genuine. “I always knew you did!” 

Melinda glared at him. 

“And you are still terrifying, sorry,” Hunter apologized quickly taking a step back from her. 

Melinda nodded, her face still deadly serious, but she offered him a wave before she left, which he returned looking less scared and less repentant. 

Melinda sighed. She really did like Hunter. 

Phil tried to get in touch with her the next day and the day after that, but Melinda finally sent him a company warning about misusing the security system. 

She felt bad about it, knowing that it would show up in his company file, but he was buddies with the CEO so it’s not like he would ever get in any trouble. She just didn’t want to have to hear Phil outright reject her, and if their friendship was over, as Melinda had to assume it was, then one more conversation would hurt worse than everything already did. As much as she missed him, this was for the best. 

Hunter kept being weirdly nice (though perhaps a little more smugly than he had been on Monday after Melinda had thanked him in the Metro station), and lunch with him and Bobbi became a daily occurrence. 

Bobbi refrained from mentioning Phil for a couple more days, but when Hunter left to use the bathroom on Thursday, Bobbi finally broke down. 

“May, I really think you need to talk to Coulson,” she said, her voice quiet but insistent. “He’s just been sitting in his office staring at his phone for the better part of three days, and you have to know that means something.” 

Melinda just stared at her. “I really don’t want to talk about this, Bobbi.” 

“I know, I’m sorry,” Bobbi replied, clearly apologetic, but she tried again anyway. “I’m just worried about both of you.” 

“I’m fine, and I’m sure Phil is too,” Melinda replied a bit harsher than she meant to. She really did like Bobbi, but this was where she drew the line.

“May did you ever try that Ethiopian place down on-” Hunter stopped as he reached their table and saw Melinda looking angry and Bobbi looking both awkward and concerned. “Everything okay?” he asked instead.

Melinda just nodded and picked up her things, tossing her garbage in the trash. “I’ve got a lot of work to do.” 

So Phil _wasn’t_ happy? She let herself hope for the briefest moment before stopping herself. More likely he just felt bad that he’d led Melinda on. He was far too kind. _He’ll get over it,_ Melinda said to herself. _He has Audrey, and he’ll be fine._  

So she ignored Hunter’s knock on her cubicle entrance when he returned from lunch almost a half hour later; she wasn’t going to talk about this with him either. 

The afternoon passed without any more alerts from Phil, her warning apparently scaring him off (a fact which made Melinda feel both thankful and sad). Melinda wished she could be happier about not having to be forced to think about Phil and Audrey every few hours, but she still cared about Phil, and it was going to be a while before she could stop. 

Just before the end of her shift an alert came in. Melinda almost panicked, but she checked the number and saw that it was a different exec, not Phil, who had triggered it. Thank God. 

She pressed the button to follow up on the alert and waited for the offending director to pick up.

“Melinda, please let me talk to you,” came the voice on the other line. It was Phil. 

“Phil?” Melinda said, inhaling sharply. “This… this wasn’t your number.” 

“Bobbi and Hunter offered to patch me through a different number so you’d respond, and so I wouldn’t get in trouble with the company after the warning I was so nicely sent yesterday.” 

Melinda knew that Phil was trying to get her to laugh, but she wasn’t biting. How could Hunter do this to her? He knew what was going on, and he set this up anyway? 

“What do you want Phil?” she said finally. 

“I need to tell you what happened after you left last week,” Phil started, but Melinda interrupted. 

“Phil. I don’t want to hear this,” Melinda said taking a deep breath. She needed to move on from Phil, but despite everything she needed to thank him. So if this was going to be the last time she ever spoke to him, she had to at least give him that. 

“But I do need to say something. Thank you for everything you’ve done to help me the last month or two. Thank you for making me reach out to my friends and for being a person that I could talk to and laugh with when I really didn’t have anyone else. I’d spent months pushing people away and forcing myself not to feel anything because that was better than being sad and alone, but you helped make me feel happy again and I know that I can deal with things much better now because you reminded me that it’s okay to let people in to help.” She took a deep breath. This was the end. “So thank you. But after what happened on Friday, I don’t think we should talk anymore… I just… I _really_ can’t hear about you and Audrey getting back together, Phil… okay?”

“Audrey and I aren’t back together, Melinda.” Phil’s words came immediately. 

“What?” Melinda’s breath caught in her throat. “I don’t understand… she was there, and I was… a friend,” Melinda managed, still completely lost. 

“Please, Melinda, let me explain.” 

Melinda took a deep breath. “Okay.” 

Phil began without hesitating. “After you left, I told Audrey that I hadn’t broken up with her because I was cheating on her with you or even because I had feelings for you. When I went out to Portland and broke up with Audrey, all I knew was that something felt wrong. It was just what I told you; it felt like we were missing something and trying to force things. So I told Audrey she had been right in the first place; we were never going to work out. And I left. But there was an _actual_ reason why things felt weird, and I didn’t realize what it was until I came into work the next day. 

“I just couldn’t wait to talk to you at the end of the day,” Phil explained, clearly smiling on the other end of the line. “I knew you would be kind and reassuring and tell me that I’d done the right thing and offer me advice on how to deal with a break up. And I started thinking back through my trip to Portland trying to remember little details that would make you laugh – like the little toddler who made faces at me my whole flight back or the cab driver that took me home from the airport who had some conspiracy theory that half the politicians in DC were aliens.”

Melinda gave a small laugh in spite of herself. 

“There,” Phil said, almost sighing. “Like that. I just wanted to hear you laugh. And that’s when it hit me. Things with Audrey had been so weird because talking to _you_ was so easy and so effortless, and even when we talked about things that were harder, it still worked, and I _wanted_ to make it work so you could tease me again, and so I could make you laugh. I was happy if you were happy, and if you were sad, all I wanted to do was make you happy again.”

Melinda didn’t know how to respond. She felt the exact same way about Phil. 

“I wasn’t sure what to do when I realized that,” Phil continued, more serious now, “so I spent two weeks just trying to wrap my head around it and figure out what to say to you. What if you didn’t feel the same way? What if I was building our friendship into more than you thought it was? Would I dare ruin our friendship for something I couldn’t even put into words? But then you were there in front of me and you were so beautiful.” 

Melinda felt herself blush and was glad that she and Phil were separated by a telephone.

“But then I saw you laugh, and I knew that this had to be something.” Phil was almost breathless. “The way your eyes light up and you try to hide it from other people so they think you’re tough… with just that one laugh I knew that this was worth it for me. And then, by some miracle, you were looking at me the same way. It should have been a perfect moment, and I’m so sorry for that, Melinda. I didn’t know how to react when Audrey showed up, and when you left… my heart broke.” 

“So what happened with Audrey?” Melinda asked tentatively, the meaning of Phil’s words still sinking in. 

“I told her about you,” Phil said simply. “How we had become friends, how you had helped me, how you’d been a friend to me when I didn’t have anyone else, how after I broke up with her I realized that there was something beyond friendship between us, and how meeting you had made everything so clear. And Audrey understood. She’s good at that.” Phil sighed, but not unhappily. 

“Nothing Audrey could have said would have changed how I feel about you, Melinda,” Phil said after a moment. “You once told me to stop being so hard on myself, so I need you to do the same thing. Everything I said to you that night was real. I don’t ask women to dance in my office for no reason.” 

“So I’m not the first Comms tech you’ve seduced then?” Melinda shot back at him immediately, in an attempt to remove some of the tension between them. 

Phil let out a laugh so joyful that it made Melinda smile automatically.

“Wow, I love you,” Phil said without thinking.

Melinda’s breath caught in her throat. Phil had been dancing around this, but hearing the actual words out loud was something different all together. 

Neither of them spoke. 

“Well, I guess it’s all out there now,” Phil said after a moment, his words almost shy. “Might as well go for it then.” He took a deep breath. “Melinda, I have fallen so deeply in love with you, and I just want to be with you. You say that I helped you, but you helped me too. You’ve made me happier than I knew I could be, just by being in my life, even if it was just a few conversations on the phone and one almost perfect evening. And if I could make you smile and make you laugh every _day_ … I can’t even imagine how wonderful that would be. I just… I love you, Melinda.” 

Melinda stared blankly ahead of her. _Phil… loves me._ The thought was so foreign, so unexpected that Melinda had to repeat it to herself a few times before she truly understood it. _Phil loves me. Phil loves me. Phil’s in love with me._

“Melinda?” Phil’s voice broke into her thoughts. “I’m sorry, that was too much too quickly wasn’t it? It’s just… I had to tell you how I feel. Hunter and Bobbi said you were upset, so I thought you might feel the same way and that this would help, but I-” 

“I do,” Melinda interrupted Phil’s rambling. 

For once Phil was silent. “What?” he said finally, his words quiet but hopeful. 

“I do feel the same way,” she said, a smile spreading across her face. “I… I love you too, Phil. I’m in love with you, too.” 

Again Phil didn’t reply. 

Melinda grew worried for a moment. “Phil?” 

“Sorry, Melinda, I have to handle something quick. Let me put you on hold for a second.” 

“What? Phil-” 

But Phil was already gone, and Melinda was left listening to the company’s insipid hold music. 

What could have taken Phil away right now? Bobbi apparently knew what was going on, so she wouldn’t have interrupted Phil, and Phil had never been called away during one of their conversations at the end of her shift before. Why did it have to be now? He’d said that he loved her. He’d said that he was _in love_ with her and that Audrey was gone and everything that had happened the other night had been real and not just Phil getting caught up in the moment. He loved her. He _loved_ her. He- 

A knock on her cubicle interrupted her thoughts. 

Assuming that Hunter was back to tease her, at least, Melinda schooled her features into a mask of indifference before she turned around in her chair. 

And there was Phil. 

She stared at him, her mouth falling open slightly. “Phil,” she breathed out finally, taking off her headset and standing up. 

“I just… I had to see you,” he said with his small little smile that Melinda fell in love with all over again. 

A wide smile spread across Melinda’s face. “Phil,” she said again. 

And in one step he’d reached her and pulled her to him. 

Kissing Phil was everything Melinda had dreamed it would be that night in his office. Their lips fit together so perfectly, and his hand was warm where it cupped her cheek. His other hand on her back pressed body against him, and Melinda sighed against Phil’s lips at the contact. It felt easy and natural, as though they’d been doing this forever, but at the same time it was new and exciting in a way Melinda knew she would never tire of. 

Phil pulled back enough to look into her eyes as he stroked her cheek. “I love you, Melinda.” 

Melinda smiled back, and leaned her forehead against his. “I love you too, Phil.” 

This time Melinda leaned in to kiss Phil first. 

“Aw that’s a good one! Whole gang’s gonna love it!” 

Hunter’s smug voice pulled Phil and Melinda apart, though Melinda kept a hand on Phil’s chest and another on his upper arm, not willing to be pulled too far away from him. 

Hunter was standing outside Melinda’s cubicle holding up his phone with a self-satisfied grin on his face, Bobbi beside him, her smile a little less smug but just as wide. 

“Hunter!” Melinda tried to reprimand her friend, but she couldn’t manage anything even close to a glare.

“Two birds with one stone, this is,” Hunter replied grinning even wider. “You’re both going to stop being sad all the time, and May’s not scary anymore! Such a good day.” 

Bobbi nodded her agreement from beside him. “Just nice to see you smile again, boss.” 

Hunter snapped another picture of Melinda trying not to smile (and failing badly) while Phil looked down at her adoringly. 

“Everyone’s gonna love these!” Hunter laughed and disappeared into his own cubicle, Bobbi following, laughing herself. 

“Don’t you dare send those around Hunter!” Melinda ordered after him. 

“Too late!” Hunter called back from his cubicle. 

“Congratulations!” Bobbi added as though trying to make up for Hunter’s behavior (not that she’d been much better). 

“Guess it’s all out there now,” Phil said, his eyes intense, but his smile wide and kind. 

Melinda had to smile back. “I guess it is.” She blinked up at him. “So you were sad?” she asked him for clarification. 

Phil nodded, his smile dimming slightly. “I haven’t gotten any work done in days.” 

Melinda raised her eyebrows at him. “And this,” she gestured at Phil’s hand still around her waist, “is helping you get work done?” 

Phil shrugged. “I don’t really care anymore to be honest.” 

Melinda laughed, leaning on Phil’s shoulder for a moment. 

When she looked up at Phil again, the look in his eyes almost took her breath away. 

“I could listen to you laugh for the rest of my life, and it would still be the most beautiful sound in the world,” Phil said almost reverently. 

Melinda broke his gaze and laid her head on his chest listening to his heartbeat as he pulled her tighter to him. 

“Thank you, Phil,” she whispered softly. 

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Don’t run out on me this time, Melinda. The company’s bound to notice my drastic decline in productivity without you.” 

“I thought you said you didn’t care about the company,” Melinda replied as she pulled back to look him in the eye. “Been together five minutes, and you’re already lying to me, Phil? Doesn’t look good for us.” 

Phil blinked at her seriously. “There must be some way I can make it up to you.” 

Melinda grinned mischievously. “I can think of something.” 

Phil laughed and leaned down to kiss her again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to message me on tumblr - parksanddownton603 - if you want to talk AoS or whatever :)
> 
> Thanks so so much for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Comments and kudos are so appreciated! <3


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